Neither is worth a darn if the mind is closed.  If one has internalized all the silly ideas that parents and sunday schools tell their children is important in being alive, and back up what they tell them is important with punishment and rewards, then the day must come when one becomes capable (once freed from a state of dependency on significant others) of opening one's mind to what really is important in being alive and what isn't.  This requires self-honesty, open-mindedness, willingness, and making friends with one's death to see the truth about all the bull-pussy one has been taught.   Commit suicide of the mind, leave the body alive, and start being true to oneself at the expense of having to give up all interest in worrying about what other people think of you.  Freedom and wisdom come with a daily willingness to internalize humbling truths about your real place in the scheme of things, getting rid of that silly but persistent "great sense of specialness," and ending the state of being an "actor" by seeing through all the promises of some ultimate AAaahh to be found out there in the big world.  Today is the day that you should be feeling as good about being alive as you are ever going to feel.  If you are not feeling that way, you are still thinking wrong.  Love and Blessings - chuck

You wouldn't worry nearly so much about what other people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did.
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James H Tolbert Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Interesting answer.  I am asking to find out about you.  Aside the anger issues, you are on the right track.  it is about you and your life, what you get out of it.  Thank you for answering.

Jay

 
Chuck521

Hi James,

   It's not a new concept, is it?  Over 2000 years ago a fellow who I suspect had been listening to the stoics of his day broke free from religion's hold on Him and began teaching the way to do so to others.  The problem, however, in those times, was that the family unit was everything, and without the family back-up the individual was nothing

   To be nothing in those days meant no high-class employment; for all good jobs went to extended family members.  It meant no connection to "nice girls to wed" for they also were surely not interested in a family outcasts.  When the Jewish man went to Jesus of Nazareth and said he'd like to follow him but that first he had to go home and bury his father, he was talking about months of ceremonies properly performed by a son, which, if not properly performed, would make of the son a family pariah and a village outcast.  The answer Jesus gave him summed up His whole attitude towards the family importance of his day.  "Follow me and let their dead bury their dead."  Therein could be seen the necessary break with the old which signaled the end of all of the falsehoods necessary when what is required of one is to be a full time actor; and thus finally allowed for the beauty and self-honesty of learning how to just be

Yet how many "good Hebrew sons" would dare to make such a bridge-burning break with their pasts?  Wouldn't it be only the one's who simply couldn't measure up to what was asked of them to continue to 'look good' and keep the familly looking good?  Wouldn't it be the ones who felt unloved and unwanted anyway; those who went to their beds at night crying into their pillows and asking themselves, why can't I be good?

  These were the ones ready for the message of Jesus.  There is a way out.  There is a way of life to be lived where one may feel calm, serene, with peace of mind and a daily sense of being at home in the universe all day every day, and that way is to become freed from the bondage of self.  That way begins and ends with a trust that Love, Truth, Wisdom, and Understand are the major qualities of what it means to say God, which makes a surrendering up of one's will and life to such an entity the only real wisdom.  "Thy will not my will be done."  That puts wisdom into acceptance of life on life's terms.  And should it turn out that such a God is real only to those who turn to It, what matter?  In prayer the love of It is felt.  In daily living one has turned in the only possible intelligent direction and surrendered, and thus has the need to look into anyone else's eyes (mothers, fathers, wives, children all included) to see if it is alright for one to be who one is departed!  There is a freedom now to love and to be loved. 

   And once the "way" has been found, the finder will be able to see that there are many other ways leading to the same result . . . living in a state of humility of spirit, peace of mind, and finally a capacity to love one's fellow human beings.  

   Truth is one, paths are many.  Some, in this generation, may find the way through Eckhart Tolle's writings, Others might look to, "The Choice is Always Ours" a classic anthology on the spiritual way edited by Dorothy Berkley Phillips, Elizabeth Boyden Howes and Lucille M. Nixon.  Still others might find the need to go down wrong roads to the point where a Twelve Step Program becomes available to them.  Even within liberal churches of traditional religions one may find a path leading one from the loneliness and despair associated with egocentricity to the communal spirit and capacity to love which is humility.  Unity Church may be the answer for many.  Seek!  If you are unhappy, seek!  Fall on your knees and ask for help . . . there is something there that answers.  At least, that has been my experience.   Love and Blessings - Chuck   

 
PEP Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Chuck, have you read The Crystal Cave by Mary Stewart? Your god philosophy reminds me of Merlin's.  I agree with you about seeking, and the many paths. But as a Christian, I have to go one step further and say that, when the paths converge, you will find Christ standing there by the welcome mat.

 
Chuck521

Hi PEP,  Well, I certainly wouldn't argue with you about your belief.  I think it is quite normal for you to say what you've said.  Yet, my suspicion is that had you been born into a loving Buddhist family in a small town in the Orient, praying to the Buddha and using Buddhist philosophy to let yourself be led from egoism with its nil capacity to love towards humility with its infinite capacity to love, then I suspect the One you would expect to see standing by the welcome mat would be Guatama Buddha. 

But what would be the difference, PEP?  What do entities of Perfect Love, Understanding, Wisdom, and Truth look like in spiritual form?  For there to be perfect love, there first must be an end to egoism . . .  With no egos, of what interest would they have in what name they were addressed by?  Meditate on it, and perhaps you will see that maybe it will be the entity of Perfect Love, Understanding, Wisdom, and Truth who just happens to catch the shift you pass over on.  Cool      

Were I not almost 76 years old and a slow reader, with several books backed up by my bed presently, I would promise to read The Crystal Cave . . . I'll certainly keep it in mind.    Love and Blessings -  Chuck

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