what does the bible say about masturbate?

In the book of Revelation chapter 8 vers.13 says: "And I saw, and I heard an eagle flying in midheaven say with a loud voice: "Woe, woe, woe to those dwelling on the earth because of the rest of the trumpet blasts of the three angels who are about to blow their trumpets!"

I'm pretty sure God has better things to do than sit in heaven and watch out for people masturbating.

there is nothing wrong with your penis, how many times you do it is normal. i have a developmental delay disability and i masturbate 5 times a day and that is normal for me and had a vasectomy at 20 years old do to my disability.

Very simple....You begin to masturbate in front of her. Act like shes not there, show her what you might do if you were alone. slap in a porno, but not a hardcore one unless of course she likes those ones and commence to stroking it. If she doesn't catch on that you're role playing and pretending ...