I've been pretty depressed for a while now and just don't know what to do. To make a long story short, I like my doctor and just don't know how to handle my current situation. To top it off, he's my gastro doctor and it's embarassing. I know people will bash me and say negative stuff on here, but please don't because it's not like I can help it.
In the country I currently reside it's pretty normal for a patient and doctor to have a relationship outside the hospital. It's not illegal, but because I was born and raised in the states I tend to have a notion that it's illegal. So the way they do stuff here is pretty different and I'm wondering if you guys can help me figure out what I can do.
I have this illness so I have to see the doctor on average twice a month. He's around my age and when I first met him I thought, and I know this is bad, but I thought he was really ugly and thought he wouldn't be able to help me but as time passed, he proved me so wrong. He's just always there for me like any other doctor I suppose? I've seen many doctors up till now but there's none like him who I can feel safe with and who I can trust. He has just got the most dedicated and warmest heart ever. At first, I didn't think he was taking me seriously because he would talk to me like a friend and we'd laugh and just whatever but he knew what he was doing. What surprises me is that he's still a trainee doctor. And yes, I'm very aware that doctors have their techniques into talking with their patients, etc.
So I find out that he's transferring to a nearby hospital (by nearby, I mean within the city) next year, which has got me feeling really sad. I feel like the ground is shaking since it would mean that I'd have to find another doctor who I can trust.
At times, I feel like I don't want to go see him anymore because of my feelings, but the problem is that in this country you have to ask your current doctor for a recommendation to go and see another doctor. I couldn't possibly ask him to do that since he's just done so much. I really appreciate the guy....I understand that that's what doctors do and it's their job, but he'd just even come running from outside even if I wasn't scheduled to be seen and even if I said it's ok that I be seen by another doctor on duty (I'm not in any life or death situation). I hardly know him on a personal level, but I just like him and as ridiculous as this sounds, I want to be his friend. To be honest, I actually would like to date him, but I don't even know him well enough. It just feels strange because he's my doctor and I'm sitting here wondering why I'm feeling this way. I just don't know what to do anymore :( Any comments?