my boyfriend and i had been in a serious relationship for almost 2 years. he broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying 'our relationship is too much of a distraction for me whilst im doing year 12, im stressed about everything' which i could understand for many reasons, and though i was extremely upset, i relented and we both agreed to give eachother space and possibly get back together after school finished. recently i went to my bestfriends house and she fessed up that my boyfriend and herself had been doing sexual things behind my back earlier in the year. i rang him up and abused him and he admitted it was true, but only lasted 2 days and he felt terrible about it. he said it was out of spite because i had 'cheated' on him new years eve (i kissed 3 of my close male friends on the lips whilst drunk and celebrating new years) i didnt see what i did would be classified as cheating though. and i told him about it the day after. what he did with my bestfriend was kept from me for almost 10 months ! i asked him to come clean about everything and he said that was the only unfaithful act he had done. after an hour on the phone we both calmed down and were unsure where to go from there.
but once i got off the phone, my friend told me there was more. she showed me inboxes they had sent to eachother around that time. they were discusting and i almost threw up ! i couldnt believe that he was capable of saying things like that. i looked at the dates on the hundreds of messages, and this had been going on for almost 6 months !
i rang him up again and told him never to speak to me again and said i saw all of the messages. he denied that it was him and said it was his good mate. (he suposibly gave his friend his facebook password and let him talk to this girl pretending to be him to see how much of a slut she was) but i knew it was him, he has a different way of speaking to his friend.
the next day his friend messaged me saying that it was him and not my ex boyfriend and that i should just give him another chance and speak to him. this back and forth inbox went on for an hour. i then realised that it was not the friend at all ! it was my ex boyfriend on his account pretending to be him. he was trying to cover up to win me back by making out that his friend was fessing up. i called the friend and asked him and he said he knew nothing about this !
i want absolutely nothing to do with my ex because i dont even know who he is anymore and he has hurt me extremely bad.
having said this though, and i have no intention of confessing this to him, but i also committed an unfaithful act. at the beginning of the year i stayed at my male bestfriends house after a party. i am a light weight drinker lol at the time i was upset because my boyfriend and i had been fighting and i felt that he wouldnt make any time for me. i got extremely drunk and had sex with my friend. although i hardly remember this, it was only when i woke up the following morning in bed with him that i had realised what id done. i felt guilty and horrible about myself and promised myself that i would never do anything like this ever again because my boyfriend had always been so loyal to me (pffft!) i didnt drink from then on, knowing that i cannot control myself when drunk.
so from my perspective i see that we are both in the wrong. but what i did was one night of mistakes and regret. what he did went on for months and he was completely sober while this happened. my mistake was unintentional, but what he did was in spite and to get revenge on me for having kissed 3 of my friends on new years.
but i would like to get a second opinion of this.
so my question is, are we both equally in the wrong ? and is there any advice someone can give me on what to do from here because i still go to the same school as my ex and see him everyday and am not sure what to feel right now...