What to do when a child lies habitually

The only reasons I can think for a child lying is either from fear of discipline administered if the truth be known...or she/he has heard someone of authority lie and thinks that it's acceptable behavior.

If your child lies...you need to have a heart to heart talk with him/her.  Tell them there is no way to handle a lie...and once trust is destroyed...it can't be regained.  Give them your assurance that when they tell you the truth...you can handle it TOGETHER...and if punishment is imminent...it will be much easier on them if they tell you the truth...than if they lie.

And then be a good example for them.  Never tell white lies or have them tell them FOR you.  Such as...little things...like when they answer the phone and it's someone you don't want to talk to...you say, "Tell them Mom isn't home."  NEVER lie yourself...because kids are sponges...and they absorb everything they see YOU do.

That has always worked for myself and my daughter.  Parenting isn't easy...but I checked out books from the library <before the internet>on each age my daughter went through...and how to cope with the stages. 

I always called my daughter "my little angel", too...and she has always been just that.   Children tend to become what you say they are.  For instance..."Come here you little monster."   You are brainwashing them to BECOME a monster. 

Please try to never accuse your child of lying...just tell them what I said above..."Are you sure that's the truth?  Because as long as you tell me the truth...WE can handle it...but there is no way to handle a lie...except to lose my trust and then I can never trust you again...and it will be much worse on you if I find out you have lied to me.  NOW...I'm going to ask you one more time...etc."

I wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Faye

Habitual lying is really rather vague. What kind of lying are we talking about here? Is your child boasting of slaying dragons in the backyard? If so, then this revolves around self esteem, which would give you a great opportunity to begin helping your child develope a healthy self image, based off of what really matters. If it's attention this also gives you a good opportunity to teach your child some lessons on leading and following and sharing the spotlight. If your child is fear based lying then shuddupandkissme covered that well already. Lastly, there are possible psychological issues. Some mental disorders have the symptom of pathological lying. I don't know the age of your child, but it's highly unlikely that your child is suffering from bipolar, addiction,and sociopathy at a young age. If the lying progressively gets worse over time and seems to be a serious complusion then you'll want to schedule an appointment with a mental health professional. At some point or another everyone is going to tell a lie. It's important for you to nip this in the bud, before this becomes a hard to break habit. Again, shuddupandkissme touched on some key points on how to do this. Here is a link where you can get some helpful information.

http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Your-child/-/Development-and-learning/When-children-lie.aspx

I agree with some of the other responses here.  Every child has "learned behaviors" from observation of those around them. If they are without good parents, they will invariably learn from whomever takes their place, even if a monkey or a robot.  This will go with them throughout their life, affecting the way they relate and think. It is a type of conditioning all children experience.

However, from my own experience, I discovered that I could re-condition myself by the time I was a teen. I did my best to overcome some of the difficulties I observed, fell back into bad habits off and on, then finally came to know the Creator personally, and invited Him into my heart.  From that time to the present, I have not been perfect, but learned by trial and error that all temptations can be resisted as long as one has His strength, wisdom, knowledge and Holy Spirit power within themself. It must be sincere and consistant. 

I believe that all children are born into sin because of the Adamic Curse that accompanied the sins of Adam and Eve.  Because God saw how easy it is to fall into sin, He designed a Plan which makes it possible for each sinful person who simply believes in His love and Plan, to read/ learn what He says and apply it to their life.  Staying humble long enough for His Holy Spirit and Holy Word to work, is KEY.  The human tends to want to do things "their way", rebellious to boundaries and limitations, yet each one both wants and needs the correct ones that the Creator who understand fully the human being that He created.

Example:  "Train a child in the way he/she should go, and when they get older they will not easily depart from it."

Each parent goes through the same thing, and each child must have limitations and boundaries that are both reasonable and protective but not to a fault nor cruel. When there is great love between parents and child, the tendancy for the parent to discipline properly is easier to achieve.

Without strong sincere love, and Godly upbringing, there is most assuredly a problematic child who is both confused, tends to lie, is rebellious to many things, and who feels he/she has no one to trust, so they bond to whatever and whomever comes their way, regardless of virtue.

I beieve that if a child is still under age twelve, it is not too late to simply announce and by example to show the changes being made in house rules, personal examples, boundaries and limitations, with little or no compromise.  Children are charming and learn manipulation early on accordingly. When parents support the values and goals of the other, are united in their discipline, are at home each evening, show their children proper affection, the child will respect themselves and their family to stop the lying option.  Hugs and acknowledgements of approval for honesty, good character, and integrity will always win.

Good luck and God bless you.  :  )