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How to treat a guy that treats you bad

I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years, in the beginning my boy friend was the ideal man, he treated me with respect, always caring about my feelings, when he did not hear from me during the day he would look for me, call me or text me, now he never calls, or text me unless I do contact him first, he says he loves me, but the way he treats me says different, I love him, and don't know what to do, if I tell him how I feel, he just yells at me, and says im insecure, or he starts cussing, and scares me to the point where I don't want to fight, and I just stay quiet, I have broken it off with him several times, and just when I feel I can survive without him, he comes back into my life and it starts all over again, he is nice for a few days, then he starts treating me like crap, making me feel so insecure about myself. what should I do? how can I make him see how bad he really does treat me?

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Three years is enough time to know a person.  As you discribe him he takes you for granted, doesn't care too much about you and has little respect for you..... He also knows that if you break with him he can always return to you.....  Persoanally I would move on (don't see too much future in this relation) but if you want to give it a last chance than discuss it with him, tell him exactly what bothers you and what do you wish your relations to be and make it clear to him that it's the last change / trial and if it fails that's the end (final !) and there is no power in the world that will return him to you. 
Best regards,  

Love is the battery of life....

Thanks for the response, im going to take your advice, and try talking to him, in hope that he doesn't walk away, or start yelling at me as he usually does, when he feels that im complaining, I failed to mention that 3 months ago I had a heart attack due to all the pressure I have been under, and im only 29 years old, I never thought this could happen to me, and all he tells me is im paying for everything, when all I have been is nice to this man, I hope I have the strength to walk away, if he isn't willing to change because I love him so much, it's hard, thanks again!

Sorry to read it..... hope you recovered.  From the deepest point in my heart I wish you good luck and hapiness. 
Best regards,

Love is the battery of life....


I took your advice, and spoke with my now ex boy friend, he didn't care about what I had to say, we were planning to go to the movies, and as always he was making me wait, I called him to ask when he was going to pick me up, and his reply was wait im changing my clothes, an hour passed, and I called to see what the hold up was, and he shouted at the top of his lungs, that he was changing his clothes, I had finally had it, and replied " what are you wearing a suit of armour that your taking so long " he then yelled im on my way, and I said I have had enough, no more mental abuse, and I hung up, he then called back leaving a voicemail asking if we were going to the movies or not, I never responded after that, instead I sent him a text saying I had it with his mistreating me, I told him it was over, I have not heard from him since, I said in my text it was over, and that was the last chance, no more chances, now I have to learn to live without him , I know it will be hard, but I have to break this crazy cycle, because I know he will try to come back to me in a month, he always does, and it starts all over again, thanks for your time, and advice, it feels better now that I can share this with someone that does not know me, and can give me advice without preference, thanks again.

You are both smart and brave.  I hope you'll find love soon and that man will respect you and treat you the way you deserve.  I know it's not easy for you now and that you feel bad..... but you did the right thing.  He'll sure try to get back to you..... don't let him and don't fall for his "soft words" (better remember how he was shouting at you).
I truely wish you the best of luck.

Love is the battery of life....

Thanks, I miss him very much, but as time goes by, im hoping I will heal, he has called me several times, but I do not answer any of his calls, it makes it easier this way, Thanks again.

Hi Elaborate one,

    You were lucky to communicate with my friend OronD, he gave you sound advice,  I gave him 2 thumbs up.  Your story reminds me of my drama with my ex-husband who was a physical and mental abuser.  My reaction was like yours, it was an emotional roller-coaster.  Very confusing experience, one time he'd verbally abuse, the following day, very loving.  We did this for 15 years, divorced him for 2 years and got back together for 2 years and finally divorced again.  Wife abusers don't change because they have this dual personality , one is very scary, the other is very loving.  That's not the way to live.

     A boyfriend or husband is there to protect the woman, not to abuse.  Just hang in there.  You made the right decision.  Things will be easier, you'll have peace of mind, you will feel safe, nobody to fight with.  It will take some time before you really feel good.  It's normal to miss him but don't give in.  He is not going to change.

    Good luck to you.  I know you will find someone who will treat you like a lady.

Be honest and be true to yourself.

The best way to get back at him is to stop getting back at him.  don't communicate with him at all, start self improvement, get in shape?, stay dressed, everytime u do communicate things r on the up and up for u so he will wonder and everytime he sees you he will remember what he once had the pleasure of tasting and will never get the chance to again, unless?...(that's if u really want him once u try loving yourself again) forget repeats its a new day try expanding your mind to a higher place that way u won't see small situations as mountains. because a jerk like him is a small problem, the problem is it's so many of them nowadays u start to feel like u must accept it, but DON'T.

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