Discuss Concerned's answer to: Tired of My Mother-in-law living with us ... what should I do?

My Mother-in-law stays with us. For the past 13 years its been like a slow creep, what started off as a safty net has become a hammock. We help pay her bills, she sits around all day talking on the ...

Concerned
Concerned Answered:

This is amazing... I am not alone.  I feel a little better knowing others are struggling with this as well (well... you know what I mean).  I am in the exact same situation.  Elderly MIL sits around on phone and watches TV all day.  Three teens living here as well.  I had a conversation about the stress it was causing me with my wife.  When my wife spoke to her mom about it..... it seemed to turn on me as the result.  I guess I am not telling my MIL when I will be home when I leave to do things.... oh wait... this is my house!!!  So now I need to answer to a mom again???  Come on ... I am 42 years old!  I have been so stressed, it is now effecting my job.  Three of my wife's siblings live with in 10 miles of us, but it seems no one wants to help.  This is really getting old.  Part of the issue is she never worked, or drove.  She was a stay at home mom all of her life.  This is also effecting the realtionship with the wife.  Not sure what to do.

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HarpsBouncette
HarpsBouncette Thinks this answer is Helpful:

My 88 yo FIL is living w/ us since my MIL passed away last month. My husband is an only child so he has to take care of everything for him. I didn't have a problem w/ it at first, we've been cooking, making his dr. appt., taking him around, things that we are supposed to do and I feel like I'm supporting my husband and his dad fine. But we have no space, he's pretty much dependent, he's got serious OCD he doesn't do anything but watch TVand my husband is just as boring.he's an old school northeast Italian so if anybody knows what that's like and how they feel about wives and women, you can relate to what I'm saying.

anyway, I want to leave. I told my husband that I'll continue to help but I can't live under the same roof w/ him. I'm sitting here in my bedroom writing this- I just want some peace and to unplug but my husband keeps walking in like my privacy and space means nothing. I'm just so tired and feeling resentful. I can't even be in the same room w/ my FIL. any body have any solutions or suggestions?
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