Tired of My Mother-in-law living with us ... what should I do?

Talk to your wife about it. I don't think this situation is healthy. If she has 5 sister I think it would be a good idea to take a break, even just for a short while, and see how you all feel about this situation. I don't think I personally could take 13 years with my mother in law. I admire your stamina, but if it's taking its toll on your marriage I don't think it should go on.

Do you two have any kids? I encountered the same problem before , what happened was we left her with the kids all the time , she got tiered and moved out. Kids will do the job! If no kids are involved here , then your wife must reach an agreement with the whole family and  talk to them about it not  with the mother in law  so she won't feel unwanted. If it comes from one of the other  sisters telling her that they all chipped in to rent her an apartment then she might agree.

It's a delicate situation but I really think the other brothers or sisters should do more to help you out with the load. There's no reason why it should all fall on your shoulders. Your relationship with your wife shouldn't be damaged because of your mother-in-law.

I am in the same situation. I hate it with a purple passion!!! This woman has to know that she is a problem. My wife feels she needs her there, but I have expressed otherwise. Her presence has me not feeling like going home sometimes. It has become a pain in the ass and if it were not for my small children I would leave. She has two grown sons ( one unmarried with no kids) and they do nothing. She pays no bills and sits around (in my chair) and gossips on the phone all day. I'm at the end of my rope. My wife feels the need to take care of her since the passing of her father. I have told my wife that this is not working for me but she continues to make excuses. I want her out!

Wow, I'm in the same boat except it's my husband's mother. We initially needed her to help with our childcare situation which was supposed to be temporary while we lived in DC. We have since moved to Cali and it's been almost 5 years. I've reached the end but if it wasn't for the fact that I'm expecting right now I would walk out today. The woman is a leech. We have footed the bill for everything, which initially I believed was a good tradeoff to offset the cost of childcare. However, the woman does nothing and the quality of care my kids are getting now that they're a little older is questionable. She does nothing but yap on the phone with her girlfriends every day, stick hear face in front of the tv, or stays holed up in her room. She doesn't offer to help clean, leaves her dishes etc. She's completely happy being lazy and being completely taken care of. We work hard to have a nice life and barely get to enjoy it while she reaps all the benefits. I've tried to address this issue with my hubby time and time again, but that's his mommy and he will not address the issue. Well time is running short, I guess those two can live happily ever after.

The reason  your husband is taking care of his mother now, is because she took care of him when he couldn't take of himself. You don't mention her age or if she has any problems.  You used her as a babysitter, but now that you don't need her anymore, it's" goodbye granny."

 If she's elderly, she should or could be drawing a pension or Social Security Retirement benefits which would help offset the cost of her stay with you.  

I am in the same boat, except it's my fiance's mother. Her and her boyfriend broke up and I had less than 24 hours to clean out our spare bedroom for her. Spent 3 whole days trying to help her unpack and downsize, just so we would be able to reach the kitchen without breaking a leg. She has mental disorders (bipolar, depression, etc), and my fiance has them, too. I was extremely capable of dealing with his disorders. We had been together for 10 months before she moved in and had never had a problem. He had them under control. Now that she's living with us, she's causing MAJOR drama between the two of us. She is acting like a 7 year old who whines and cries when she does not get her way. We are getting married in April and, like everyone else, I have tried to talk to him about it. He makes excuses for her all the time ("She's had a hard life. She's my mom, I can't kick her out. She has problems. She can't help it.") The thing is, I think she's milking her problems and is trying to be an issue. She is so lazy, she won't leave the house. If I leave the house for 30 minutes, she tells my fiance that I've been gone all day and left her there all alone...something that gets me yelled at. I don't know what to do. I love him with all my heart and I cannot wait to marry him...I just can't handle her anymore!

This is amazing... I am not alone.  I feel a little better knowing others are struggling with this as well (well... you know what I mean).  I am in the exact same situation.  Elderly MIL sits around on phone and watches TV all day.  Three teens living here as well.  I had a conversation about the stress it was causing me with my wife.  When my wife spoke to her mom about it..... it seemed to turn on me as the result.  I guess I am not telling my MIL when I will be home when I leave to do things.... oh wait... this is my house!!!  So now I need to answer to a mom again???  Come on ... I am 42 years old!  I have been so stressed, it is now effecting my job.  Three of my wife's siblings live with in 10 miles of us, but it seems no one wants to help.  This is really getting old.  Part of the issue is she never worked, or drove.  She was a stay at home mom all of her life.  This is also effecting the realtionship with the wife.  Not sure what to do.