DO you think it was her anxiety

 

Do u think it was my mothers anxiety attacks that made her feel this way about the fire trap remark
. Here is why. My Aunt who lives in another state is turning 90 on November 25th. Here is the background: My cousin Annette and her husband Mike moved to to the other state many many years ago actually in 1968. Annette's husband Mike is mad at my mom. My Aunt told my mother a month ago she does not want a party for her 90th birthday. However, Annette and Mike invited 27 people and the party is at a very fancy hotel/restaurant, but excluded my mom and she is very hurt. She conveyed this indirectly to my Aunt and my Aunt has not called my mother in the last three days. Here is the guest list, Annette and Mike, then their two sons Don and Larry and their wives and their kids, then Carly (Annette's sister) and Carly husband Andrew and their two sons with their girlfriends. Don's mother-in-law and brother-in-law. Now to explain this: Larisa and Marilyn are sisters on Annettes and Carly's dads side (my uncle now deceased) - his brother and sister-in-law died in the early 1960's so my aunt and uncle raised Larisa and Marilyn, so I consider them cousins. They are invited with their husbands and Larisa is the only one who has children. And Richie (Carly's and Annettes brother). My mom is not upset that they are invited she feels they should be, but she is upset at other people being invited that my aunt really is not close to.

So five minutes ago my mom said "Your Aunt has not called, she is mad at me" I said "If any one is to be mad it should be the other way around" My mom said "I have anxiety as the doctor said and many things bother me, and this is adding to it.

So do you think the fire trap was just her anxiety?



ENTIRE BACKGROUND:
TODAY: I am still upset at the "fire trap" please help me not to be Most of this is resolved for me. The only part I am still upset about is when she said "fire trap". The reason I feel this way is due to the fact every time I look at (not in) the plastic bags I get anxious, not because I think there will be a fire, but I start to think that is what she thinks and I dont know how to deal with that. Help When I asked her was she implying I should give away my clothes and she said "No what I am saying is cut down on how many you buy, you are running out of room to store them"
BACKGROUND: Would you care about the mice comment and fire hazard comment or would you ignore it? Two weeks ago my mom said to me she wants to go to the renting office because the lease is up in June and my mom wants to get a smaller apartment. I said to my mom that right now I cannot afford to move on my own because I am not working. Then my mom started to get nasty saying "that you took up all the closet space, that your room and the part of the den closet you have will go up in flames if we have a fire and we could get mice" and none of this true. Then the next day my mom went out to go to the supermarket. We have one parking spot we pay for and the other car that is not in the paid parking spot has to park on the street. So we go back and forth with the cars. Most of the time my car is the paid spot because I was drive her every where. So when she went out today her car was in the paid spot - when she came home she called me to come downstairs to switch spots - I would put my car in the paid spot and she would put it in the street spot my car was in.As we were putting the bags in the wagon to wheel the groceries upstairs she said "If you ever threaten me again that you did not want me at your birthday celebration then I will never give you the paid spot" So I thought this was a perfect lead in and said "Well I was upset and the mice and fire hazard comment" and she said "Well it is a fire trap" this got me mad and we had a fight. I asked her if she meant I should give my clothes away and she said no. What do you think and would you have thought she meant to give my clothes away

 

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Answers

Yes, if your mother is experiencing anxiety, it could cause her to make remarks that bother you. VP, if she says something that bothers you, calmly ask her to clarify. If she says she didn't mean it that way, then accept what she's telling you.

Not every remark she makes has a hidden meaning. Maybe she's just feeling hurt about the way your family is treating her. Try reminding yourself that she has troubles and anxieties of her own; maybe that will help so you will be able to let go of your own anxiety about what she says to you.

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ Ask a Yeddai

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