love, sex, widow, widower, second marriage

mistermom Asked About 'Love & Sex on AOL Coaches'

Starting over

After being a widower,why is it that my new wife feels like she is in a competition?

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3 Answers

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george Answered:

Sounds natural to me. It makes sense to assume that if your wife didn't die you'd still be with her; you didn't choose to break up the relationship. It's possible that you even still love her. Your new wife might feel that she's not your first choice, and that she has to prove that she deserves to be.

Posted 4 years ago

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OronD Answered:

Hi,

George gave you a nice / smart answer. I'ld like to add that it's a matter of personality as well. Some will feel like that, others won't (they'll see each relation for it's own merits). It shouldn't bother you too much, calm her down, tell her, time and again, that she is not in a competion and it would be better, to both of you, if she concentrates on "how to make the present relations ideal"....
best regards,

Posted 4 years ago

Love is the battery of life....

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brosen Answered:

There is a popular saying about second marriages that says hat there are now four people sharing the same bed. You new wife is naturally very sensitive about moving into a home that someone else shared with you. It might be that you unconsciously mention or hint about your deceased wife, or have some of her photos or have furniture or other items she bought Try to be extra kind, sympathetic and considerate until your new wife feels she is the only one sharing your home.