My son is moving out and in with loser girlfriend and her family.

My 26 year old son is moving in with his girlfriend and her parents. I can't stand her or her family. How do I deal with this situation? She isn't good for him, no motivation, no future. Just lay around and add to her 300# butt. Son is just copping out because I got on him about saving money for a home instead of blowing it all. He can go over there and be another sloth.

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John-

This involves situations, not situation.

  1. Your son's choices.
  2. Your anger and disappointment concerning your son's choices.

Your son is an adult. There is little you can do to change his choices. You must accept that he is choosing poorly. You sure don't have to like it or approve. You need to keep the doors of communication open and there will be a time, in all likelihood, that you can discuss this. When this occurs, let him talk and you listen. When you choose to talk, talk about how you feel concerning this. Do not make any value judgments about his choice. Do not attack him.

With regard to dealing with your anger and disappointment, you need to talk to a good friend/counselor and to GOD. This will help diffuse some of the emotional charge associated with this.

Shalom,

JayR

Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice.....* Victims of circumstance owe it to fate. Victims of choice owe it to themselves.*One of the widest gaps in human experience is the gap between what we say we want to be and our willingness to discipline ourselves to get there.

John,

    You may not like my answer.  That's OK.  He is 26 years old  and an adult.  You can't do anything about his choice for a mate.  He is free to do what he wants.  It does not make a difference to him if you like his girlfriend or her parents.  He is the one who lives with them.

    Sorry about my reply.

Be honest and be true to yourself.

There really isn't anything you can do.I know how you feel and I am sorry.Sometimes you have to let your kids make their mistakes.I am a parent also of two girls it is not easy you only want what is best for them but our parents couldn't tell us and if you say to much you run the chance of losing your son and life is to short for that.Just be there for him.I find comfort in going in a room by myself and looking in a mirrow and say everything I want hold nothing back.Then take a deep breath and go on.Hope things work out for you and your son.It does say alot about what kind of parents this girl has I don't care how old my daughters are they will not live with a man in my house not married.

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