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My son is failing school and doesn't care

My son is having major problems in school. He is failing everything. He doesn't want to do the homework. He just doesn't care. How can I change this attitude. He's 14 and suppose to be going to High School next year. He is no where near being ready.  He had some medical issues at the beginning of the year, which that has made it even harder.  I just don't know how to get him to do his homework.  He doesn't bring his books home.  He lies about not having homework.  I don't know what to do.  I have had meeting after meeting with the school.  And they are not help.  What do I do?

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it's perfecty normal to have a son like this....there are thousands of boy and girls just like this.....they really dont belong in a school enviroment.

it's also hard to find anything there even interested in,you have a real uphill battle....if it is at all possible move to a small country town , and find him a job working for a carpenter, or some kind of builder.

 becouse then he will find it rewarding to himself when he sees the contribution he had at building something with his own hands.

or try bycicle mechanics, thats another great one.....

There is a great solution that I found - google "challenge academy" and see if there is one in your state.  It takes "at risk" kids (no court ordered kids) and puts them through a 22 wk program designed to help them work with others, improve self esteem, develope job interview skills, educates them on the falsity of the "world owes me a living" theory  but most importantly they graduate with their GED.  Your son, at his age can go back to his HS and finish up and obtain a real diploma if he wanted.  BEST OF ALL IT"S FREE!

I have a son the same age and exact same problems.  I have tried everything and feel your pain that the school doesn't seem to help and their care for the situation may seem very transparent.

I started my child in therapy and his therapist suggested that we start with small things to help build my childs self esteem.  She said and I quote "he needs to experience some success as soon as possible".  I started him in some sports, and started to really build him up with praise around the house.  It is very very slow coming but I think I'm finally starting to break through.

It's hard when 14 is so awkward, you want to be a friend and a parent, but they seem to kind of take advantage of that.  Best wishes in your efforts, but I'd really think about getting him a mentor or involved in things that will bring him a little success as soon as possible.  Martial arts is always a great motivator, fun, active and disciplined... maybe you could try that???

Having him attend private tuition on some of the school subjects might help - face to face with the teacher he cannot but do his homeworks. He would not be able to hide behind the crowd of the class of pupils. More importantly, he would not be able (or so I guess) to hide the problems preventing him from studying. The private teacher might be able to extract information from him about the reasons for his reluctance to study. Also, s/ he would be able to attune to his individual pace and way of studying and that might bring results, too.

I have the exact same problem with my soon to be 14 year old son. I have a meeting with his teacher tomorrow...is it boy hormones?...

I have a kid almost that bad.  He has A's and B's in everything except math and Language Arts (7th grade).  I just don't get it either.  School will want to hold him back and repeat 7th grade next year.  We have gone through counseling.  Bottom line, he just doesn't give a shit.  He by himself will decide what happens.  I am close to not caring either.

Someone said to have your son work as a carpenter or bicycle repairment.  My kid is too lazy to do that.  My kid is just a lazy dumb ass.  I haven't told him that...but I think some kids are just born that way.  Everything has a Nature.

Cheers

My kid is in 7th grade....A's and B's in subjects except for math and language arts.  He is getting an F.  School system wants to hold him back.  Bottom line...my kid is truly lazy (his Social Studies went from A to C just recently).  He just doesn't give a shit.  We tried counseling for several months....didn't help.  Bottom line, he is the only person who can decide to do what he needs to do.  He is a lazy ass....don't tell him that, but he is.  I think everything and everyone has a Nature.  He was just born that way.  Maybe he will change someday.....I have no idea.  It is just so frustrating.

If your kid could hurry up and make it to 16, drop out....move in with friends, and then get a job.....that might do more to help him see the light than anything else.

My son turned 17 yesterday. He is in the 10th grade and failing every subject. The same problems you are experiencing with your 14 year old have been the same problems we have experienced since 1st grade. We have tried tutoring, one on one with teachers and counselors, removal of priveleges, reward systems, etc. These no longer work. I am at my wit's end and considering alternative schools. Recent changes in his life are not helping (divorce, possible relocation to another state, loss of my job). If anyone has suggestions that may help I would appreciate them also.

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