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Several siblings, one is health care proxy, one is power of attorney. Who decides on nursing home?

There are several siblings. One is health care proxy, One is power of attorney. Is it a family discussion if a parent must go to a nursing home, or can the health care proxy or power of attorney make up their own mind, and we must cooperate?

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The decision may be a legal one, depending on how your state views these matters, since the sib who has power of atty. is the one who must write the checks to the nursing home, but the sib with the health care poxy is empowered to make the health care decisions. I would certainly ask a lawyer, although the likelihood is that you must all come to some reasonable agreement about how to manage an elderly and fragile parent's health care and daily needs. If the sib who controls the checkbook is simply trying to save money to ensure a greater inheritance is distributed when your parent dies, this will be quickly recognized, deemed a withholding of proper/necessary care by the court, and would not be permitted. At that point, your judgement regarding appropriate care in a nursing home would be upheld.

i think the health care proxy could judge whats good for their elders keeping in mind that whats important for the elder is taken care of at the same time the lawyer could do better judgment on the regarding finance and also to ensure the elder is taken care of nicely.

All that I have read so far is accurate. It must be taken into consideration if the parent is of sound mind and able to make those decisions for themselves. If not then it should be a shared decision with all sibs. POA for financial issues has no bearing on making medical decisions. POA for medical issues takes effect when the parent is not able to make those decisions. Hopefully you all have a civil relationship as to agree what is best for your parents to avoid tearing up those precious bonds you have as family. There is nothing worse than to loose a relationship. If you think about it, after it is all said and done family is a most precious gift.

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