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My partner has no sex drive. he is 5 years younger ...

my partner has no sex drive. he is 5 years younger than me. I am not sure if the fact that he is taking blood thinners could be a reason for this. Sometimes I even wonder if he is gay. I love him, but I am starving for some affection!!! He tells me that it is not me, but I can't help but feel insecure about my weight gain in the last year. He used to not be able to keep his hands off of me. He is a great man and suppors and takes very good care of this family, but we have really bad communication and have virtually no sex life. At one point when he wanted me to be pregnant with his son he would grab me every chance he got. I feel so insecure. I could naked in front of him and nothing. We go out together. We spend time at home. Please help me to understand what is going on here.

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Hi,


Tnx for exposing in such details.... you (both) have a problem....  If I faced the same problem I would either solve it or leave.... No communication and no sex.... that's a bad sign to your relations.  I wouldn't agree to that.  There are other possible reasons (rather then being gay) here are some:
1.  He has someone else (no offence
     please).
2.  Mid age crises (hormone balance).
3.  A major problem that bothers him
     (at work, business, family, parents,
     fanacial.....).
4.  Is he healthy ?.
5.  Does he loves you ?  Do you love
     him ?
6.  A psychological problem ? (how is
     his general mood ? depressed ?)
7.  Was it always so ? if not how was
     the change (graduately or at one
     point ?). 
The only way I can see that you solve the problem is to get an advise from a marriage counselor.  Don't save money, choose the best one in town.... it's your life on stack..... you have all the rights to have good life and be happy and secured (and good sex is an essencial part of it).
Best regards.
Love is the battery of life....

I really don't think the blood thinners are the problem. I am in a similar situation as you (I'm married nearly 2 years and my husband barely touches me. I've gained signifcant weight since we met and I'm extremely insecure). We started seeing a marriage counselor a couple of months ago and while I was skeptical at first, it has helped in bettering our communication. Through counseling, my husband was able to articulate that my significant weight gain has "caused him to be less attracted to me." While this was hard for me at first to hear from him, I'm glad that he was finally able to tell me what was really on his mind and not hide anything from me. I've changed some of my ways to help our situation and he's working on changing as well. I think it's important that if you do seek out couples counseling, to not be afraid of what you may hear and really try to understand your partner's side of what's going on. I wish you all the best!

Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about.

your not providing enough information here. did you get fat first or did he lose interest first?   just by the way you started by saying that the fellow is five years younger as your opening statement shows that you are upset the he lost interest in you... but I don't think you have interest in him.  I'm not sure your looking for a relationship with anyone.... it would seem that it is your vanity that has been broken more then anything.  Vanity is no basis for love.  

Man who lives in glass house dresses in basement

Hi, it sounds as if his hands were all over you before you had his-and-your son.  I'm assuming that you only have one child, however I don't have a clue of his age.  I'm wondering if he's 6 months or younger? Anyhow, my guess is that when the baby came along, it changed the entire dynamics of your household.  Instead of it being just you and he, it soon changed to baby makes three, and you too, have changed as you were pregnant and perhaps gained a few pounds which is normal.  But as your body changed, so did his. 

You both became parents, that's what it seems to me.  Waking up at nights for bottle feedings and diaper changes.  He knows that if your son cries, you will be there to coax him to sleep again, tuck him in beneath the covers again or any loving and motherly duty you deem necessary, and he probably wonders -- why bother to be intimate, to only be interrupted?  Additionally, the added cost of increasing the family size weighs down on one's soul with deep contemplation: will we have enough for college, diapers, formulas/milk, clothes because he is forever growing.  All of these issues he may not discuss with you, but there are sure to be in his mind, and perhaps yours too.  Your husband is a provider, so it stays on his mind. He stays home so he's not cheating and when you three go out, -- think about the car seat.  A new task for all involved.  It's not just you and him anymore.  I'm sure it will all get better.  It appears that he loves you, and sometimes that is enough, but I understand you crave intimacy.  I suggest that you sit down and discuss your feelings with him. and tell him how you feel, and what you expect.  With him, I sure you can find out what is really happening and by the way, congratulations.
I'll search, while you wait.

question begins... 

"my partner has no sex drive. he is 5 years younger than me"

smallest violin in the world playing just for those who are projecting they're own issues into the question that answers itself.  This person has a vanity issue and is not in love. 

Man who lives in glass house dresses in basement

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