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Dear May,
This is my reply to the second half of your question: 
The more you add the mask he used to wear falls apart.  The wolf was hiding behind the "nice guy's" mask.  Please stop dealing with that subject.  Delete him from your mind and from your memories.  He is not worth it.  I know it won't be easy (cause you were deeply and emotionally involved) but it is a MUST.  If you don't do it he'll ruin your future too.  You have to be strong and understand that you have to open your heart + mind + eyes to create your (bright) future.  The only thing you have to take from him is the (bitter) lesson you learned: Don't trust people, actions speak louder than words, not all people are alike and there are some people with different morals + values as you..... and there are some wolves in a disgise (not sure about the spelling) of a lamb who are experts in "hunting" inocent people like you.  If you give me just a small credit that please listen to me:  Leave the past and concentrate on the future.  Somewhere there a nice man with the same morals & values you have is waiting for you.  That man will bring real happiness and real love to your life.  Don't waist time an energy on trying to better understand why did the events (of that past) happened.  It will do no good to you.  His real face is now clear.  Thank G-d that you reviled his face before you were married + 2 kids..... your life than would have been a pure missery.   Concentrate now on creating your bright future !.   G-d bless.

Love is the battery of life....

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