The search goes on for intelligent life . . . on Planet Earth!

More hamburgers.

And don't forget the mystery signals. They call them numbers stations. Shortwave  radio stations of uncertain origin. They generally broadcast artificially generated voices reading streams of numbers, words, letters (sometimes using a spelling alphabet), tunes or Morse code. They are in a wide variety of languages and the voices are usually female, though sometimes male or children's voices are used. Numbers stations have been reported since World War I. This would make numbers stations among the earliest radio broadcasts. On some stations, tones can be heard in the background. It has been suggested that in such cases the voice may be an aid to tuning to the correct frequency, with the coded message being sent by modulating  the tones, perhaps using a technology such as burst transmission. Generally, numbers stations follow a basic format, although there are many differences in details between stations. Transmissions usually begin on the hour or half-hour. The prelude or introduction of a transmission includes some kind of identifier, either for the station itself and/or for the intended recipient. This can take the form of numeric or radio-alphabet "code names" (e.g. "Charlie India Oscar", "250 250 250"), characteristic phrases (e.g. "¡Atención!", "1234567890"), and sometimes musical or electronic sounds (e.g. "The Lincolnshire Poacher", "Magnetic Fields"). Sometimes, the prelude can also signify the nature or priority of the message to follow (e.g.(hypothetically) "Charlie India Oscar-2", indicating that no message follows). Often the prelude repeats for a period before the body of the message begins. There is usually an announcement of the number of number-groups in the message, then the groups are recited. Groups are usually either four or five digits or radio-alphabet letters. The groups are typically repeated, either by reading each group twice, or by repeating the entire message as a whole. Some stations send more than one message during a transmission. In this case, some or all of the above process is repeated, with different contents. Finally, after all the messages have been sent, the station will sign off in some characteristic fashion. Usually it will simply be some form of the word "end" in whatever language the station uses (e.g. "end of message, end of transmission"; "Ende"; "fini"; "final"; "konets"). Some station end with a series of zeros, e.g. "000 000"; others end with music or other sundry sounds. There's been lots of speculation, but nobody actually knows what they are.

Amen to that!

I think we got us a case of bipolarism here. The goof, the brain, and the ugly.

If I had my way. What to do? What to do?

I would start by making sure that everyone knew the true meaning of AOL- Aplanet Of Lunatics. Then I would make 0 the Priz run a lemonade stand until he showed a prophet. The Flimsey Slohand would have to do hard time, after which she would be allowed to do all the drugs she wanted to in Bahrain. The Cowboys would win every Super Bowl from here on out, so I would outlaw the Super Bowl and give them the trophies. All the advertisers would have to continue making commercials that would go head to head on American Idle. All the people without a 40 hour a week job would be forced to use the winning product at least three times a week. I would make all SUVs illegal for mothers with children of soccer age. Everyone named Bubba would have to chew Red Man. Ford trucks would be painted green and everyone would have to have one. Don't ask me about the parking lot problem. I don't know. GPS devices would be illegal for all except terrorists and illegal aliens. I would close the borders and McDonald's. I would make myself the President for laff, I mean life. Of maybe until somebody else wanted to do it that loved America and the principles upon which it was founded. The NEA would be abolished and schools would once again be for teaching and not indoctrination. Social promotion would be abolished. Stupid people would have to be provided technical skills that do not include drug dealing, pimping, and stealing.

Is this enuf to get me elected?

I see a glorious future for you, but it is not in politics. That will be $30.00.

Madam Z

What was that?

Uncle Frank

Hey, Jay! Where's all my beer?

Bubba

Come on, Boss. Let's get a steak and a cup of coffee.

Beau

Stephen Hawking said that it might not be such a good idea to try to contact extra-terrestrials; it's foolhardy to assume that a visit from them would be to our benefit.

So, if the word gets out that Earth is a planet of whackos, it might just keep away the Klingons.