psychology

Sad and scared

I am a 32 years old and my husband is 36. We have been married for 6 years. We have been trying for a baby pretty much after we were married as I was not on the pill but we weren't very careful so to speak! In the last 2 years our sex life has been very dull due to the fact that every month when I got my period I was not pregnant it upset me and I didn't want to make love just to make a baby so I stopped it all together. My husband is very supportive but I will never have a baby if we don't make love. I am scared and sad that we will never have children. We don't really have anything medically wrong with us I had a little endo and my husbands count was a bit low but they said we have unexplained infertility. Everyone tells me to just relax but it usally the ones that have 5 kids and got pregnant after 1 month of trying. Please give me some advice as I am living in a foreign country and don't really know where to go or turn to!

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3 Answers

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annette Answered:

Who ever told you to calm down and relax, gave you the right information. It seems the harder you try the less you achieve. A few years before I had my first baby doctors told me I would probably never be able to get pregnant due to hormone imbalances, a severely tipped uterus, and several other problems. Well guess what, I GOT pregnant and had a healthy baby 2 years later. Then when my husband and I tried for the 2nd one, several specialists said I would NEVER be able to concieve again! After trying for 3 years, we just gave up and decided to adopt. Lo and behold when we quit trying, I got pregnant within 6 months.

Do as you were told, just relax and have fun and don't worry about making a baby and I bet you'll be pregnant in no time. Like I stated, it seems the harder you try and get uptight about it because you're not getting pregnant, the longer it seems to take.

Don't look at your lovemaking sessions as a baby making session and you're likely to get pregnant much sooner, and when you least expect it.

Good Luck and I hope you're pregnant within the next few months!!

Posted 2 years ago
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Yesterday's gone and Today is going fast, Tomorrow is all we have, Until it to has passed Band of One

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gary999 Answered:

Annette has given you the perfect advice. I know of two couples who began adoption procedings and became pregnant before the adoption process was completed.

"After trying for 3 years, we just gave up and decided to adopt. Lo and behold when we quit trying, I got pregnant within 6 months."

I don't understand how relaxation relates to the sperm and the egg, but both men told me they did nothing different than before, so relaxation must be a key factor in the process. I'm not suggesting that you begin an adoption process but as Annette says;

"Do as you were told, just relax and have fun"

If you've lost the ability to just plain enjoy sex, pregnancy is guarenteed not to happen and that's the thing you need to change.

Posted 2 years ago
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"I've heard you're a low down yankee liar!"

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OronD Answered:

Hi,
1. Find a good & experienced psychologist.
2. And consult an experienced sexologist.
The psychologist will have to calm you down and make you feel relaxed. No offence, please, but I have a strong feeling that your relation with your husband are far from being "ideal"..... I won't drfine them as "bumpy" but I feel that not enough love is there and not enough sexual attraction. The psychologist and the sexologist job will be to attend to it. I also feel that you are very frightened and very insecure (+ low self confidence / esteem).
I appologise for being too direct and blunt.
Best regards,