Relationship problems....

My boyfriend Randy and I have been together since Valentine's Day of this year. A couple months into our relationship I did something very stupid and cheated on him with another man. We broke up for a while and I ended up living with this other man for a little while. I realized that this other man was really terrible. He didn't treat me right. I missed Randy so much and realized how important he was to me. It took some convincing but I finally got Randy to talk to me and he told me he still loved me and was willing to give me another chance. So, I moved back in with him. I had learned a few lessons from the last time we were together and it seemed like our relationship was better than ever. We don't fight at all anymore, we have better communication and I willingly gave him the passwords to my email and Facebook to show him I have nothing to hide and I have not been in contact with the other man nor do I want to. He even told me he saw a difference in our relationship and he likes it. But, there are times where he makes snide jokes about me being with the other guy. Everyday when he comes home from work he asks me how many guys I talked to that day and how many new boyfriends I made. There was even a time a car had pulled in front of his house and he said, "Oh look your other man is here!" It was really just some people who got lost. I know he's joking...maybe? But it hurts. Because even though I made a mistake I learned my lesson and he knows that. And I know he loves me, he takes good care of me. But why does he say these things? It hurts.... 

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Hi Jenna92 ,  You betrayed and hurt this man , trust is earned and once it's gone it's gone . He choose to take you back but he doesn't trust you and quite frankly he may never again .   There is NO relationship without trust .


  If you have the dates correct in this question then you have only been with this man for about 3 months .  I have answered some of your other questions , this is the same guy reference your question of adding a 3rd person to your relationship of one month ago ,  which we all advised you not to do .   So you were unfaithful and moved in with this other guy for a short time.


I also answered your question of 4 months ago where you committed infidelity on your then boyfriend .  Jenna92 you have a pattern of infidelity , deceit and making poor choices .  This may sound harsh but it is reality .  


You say you have learned from your mistakes and he knows that . His actions say he doesn't know that .   You are going to have to earn his trust and again that may not be possible . 


I personally think some time with NO man in your life would do you a world of good .Take that time to decide what you want out of life and with whom .  You need to do some soul searching and get your life in order .The path you are on is destructive to you and any man you have in your life . 

If you two are determined to stay together then seek some counseling .  This relationship lacks the foundations needed for a healthy loving relationship .  Communication , respect , fidelity , trust and honesty .

 I wish you the best Jenna92 .


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I agree with Equus. I'll just add that the bottom line is this:

You hurt this man. His 'jokes' are now a way of hurting you back. If your relationship is to survive, you MUST seek counseling to help you determine what causes you to act as you do.

That's because what he does has little to do with it. I'm sorry, but the problem begins with you. Please seek help.

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ YeddaHeads

he obviously hasnt got everthing off his chest, have a heart to heart and u can both talk about it, you will feel much better!

I'm thinking that he is not "over it" and does not trust you yet.  You made a mistake and you have asked him to forgive you.  How much more do you have to pay for your mistake?

I would tell him that you don't like his comments and ask him to stop them.  If he keeps it up then I would move on.

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