relationship advice

JLM Asked:

Is it true that if the guy you're seeing doesn't ...

Is it true that if the guy you're seeing doesn't call you on a regular basis he is either seeing other people or not that into you? We both live in different cities plus there's a bit of age difference.. I'm 28 and he's only 23. He acts very much into me when we're around each other, I've met his friends, we do dates.. Things everyone tells me to look out for. The only problem is when we're apart from each other he hardly calls. Last weekend when I was at his place he had balloons from someone for his bday which led me to believe it was from a female. (No guy is gonna get another guy balloons) I never asked him about them because we've never had the 'are we official talk'. it appears he's seeing other people but I'm wondering where I stand with him. I know I should ask him, but I wanted others opinions before I did and any suggestions on how to approach the subject and exactly what to say. We've only been seeing each other for a couple of months, so I didn't want to come out with 'the official talk' if it were too soon. Should I just be a little more patient to see what develops or can anything develop with the age difference and distance between us when he isn't putting a whole lot of effort in calling me. Now if I picked up the phone to call him he would answer or if he didn't answer he'd call me right back. He's never blown me off or anything like that. I just feel like he should want to hear my voice if even it were a split second of his time. Not to make any excuses.. Only to fill in a little more detail. He lives and breathes baseball and has been scouted to be drafted for several teams so at this point that seems to be his biggest focus. I understand all of that and can be patient if it'll pay off in return. If he's out there dating and sleeping with me and several women I don't want any part of this. He too occasionally makes texts when I'm around and sometimes doesn't answer every phone call he gets which seems to be another indicator he's seeing other girls. Tell me PLEASE.. Where do I stand? What do I do?~~Be patient or run for my life??

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3 Answers

Order by: Oldest to Newest; Newest to Oldest; Votes

jkgrandma Answered:

You already know the answer to this. It is right in your question, but I'll spell it out so there isn't any doubt about it.

If you want to know, ASK!

You cannot make yourself crazy wondering about everything and interpreting his actions. Just ask him!

If you want to be exclusive, say so! If you want to know if he's seeing other women, ask him! It is as simple as that.

If it boils down to the fact that he likes things as they are while you want more, then the relationship is not for you. YOU are the only one who can decide and YOU are the only one who can make your feelings known.

But then, you already knew that, didn't you?

Posted 3 years ago
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Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ Ask a Yeddai

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Wounded Soul Healer Answered:

If it only were so easy to just ask. They say one thing but sometimes mean another. We both know this. Where do you stand? Obviously not where you deserve to stand. Yet, being too confrontational may chase off an innocent person. So its not as easy as the other answerer tries to make it seem. To really solve this, you need to have an interactive conversation with someone professional. Do that by chatting me up (see profile) or by going in person to someone else who specializes in this. (though that takes so much time and is far more expensive) Question to you is "How important is figuring this out"

Posted 3 years ago

If you do not change direction,you may end up where you are heading

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OronD Answered:

Hi, ------- I hope you are an open person so I can answer you without sugarcoating my words. I am not sure he is committed 2U and I am not sure he is in for a "long distance" relations with you...... so "an official talk" can "kill" it all and even asking him might do the same. From his point of view it is very likely that he enjoys being with you as you are a mature experienced person (much more than he is)...... and he enjoys your friendship, love, sex, discussions, company, fun, entertainment, etc..... and it suits him cause now ALL he minds is his baseball career (and NOTHING) but it..... and you "fit" into it perfectly...... You have 2 main options: To stay with him and hope that "time will do it" 4U (risking that you waiste your time) or say a nice Good-bye and try to find someone that you have much more chances to end up with a family. I bet that if you only ask him "how do you see our relations in the long run ?" the results will be BAD...... (or at least NOT what you expect). I appologise if I was too direct and blunt, I truly only ment to put a mirror in front of you. -------------- Best regards,