Discuss Yoda's Ugly Cousiin's answer to: Regrets...............?

What do I do? I got married 2 1/2 yrs ago, left my job of 20yrs. moved out of state and now I wished I had everything back the way it was, with my husband of course!

When I moved 1500 miles to be with someone I loved, I had a great many regrets.  I left my son (from a previous marriage), my family, my friends, my well-paying job, and everything I knew and was familiar with.  I left all of it behind.  When I got to my new home, nothing was new.  Everything was alien to me.  I felt very much alone, despite the fact that I had a mate (which was the only reason I moved). 

Lois and I had discuss moving back to CT, but it just wouldn't have worked for us.  So, I was stuck with the choice of staying or going by myself.  I wasn't really interested in another failed relationship so I stayed.  Eventually, I realized that part of the reason why the phrase "carpe diem" is so powerful is that if you DON'T seize the day, you will MISS OUT on what you have now.    And all of those moments will be lost to you later on.  Better to seize them now rather than add even more regrets in the future. 

Moving back would be great if it would really benefit you both.  Perhaps it's possible to find a compromise (buy a vacation home there or move halfway between both here and there, etc.). 

But one important thing you will need to face (and it is a real doozy):  Being married affects everything in your life.  It affects what you eat, when you get to sleep, what you watch on the tube, whether you get to work on time or if you have to 90 on the freeway to get there before the final tick of the buzzer.  It affects when you get together with friends and colleagues and it affects your relationship with your family.  Please understand that, once you chose to get married, you will never be able to get everything back the way it was...not even if you were to divorce your husband.  Marriage has that effect on your life...and divorce does not restore things either.  I'm sorry to give you this piece of bad news, but, being married for only 2.5 years suggests that you haven't come to this realization yet.  Good luck and Live Well!

Wisdom is not knowing everything; it's knowing nothing.
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