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A 21 year old male (mind of a 12 year old) is ...

A 21 year old male (mind of a 12 year old) is dating a woman 15 years older. The woman is controling... manipulative.... and has already started to control his life... how can they be seporated... and how could he be convinced to breal it off.... the woman knows he's disabled and has already told him to take out the little money he gets every month and to spend it on booze for her... how do I or someone else help him?

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There's alot of cougars out there preying on the young and inexperienced. At twentyone, there is no way to stop him. You can tell her there are laws that protect the disabled from being preyed on for financial gain.  Even if getting him to buy her booze isn't included, she'll know your keeping an eye on him. Just like any animal of prey, try and put a scare into her. If she knows people are watching out for him , she may move on to another victum. Good luck.

I looked up and saw the world and wondered....

If he truly has the mind of a 12 year old, then there should be an adult guardian to oversee his finances, etcetera.

If that's the case, then I would suggest this adult guardian be notified of the problem so s/he can take the appropriate steps to protect the young man's interests.

If there is no adult guardian, then perhaps the court should be petitioned to appoint one (which would then prevent the problem you describe).

On the other hand, if the young man is not nearly as disabled as you imply, then it is up to him what to do with his money. You don't have to like it, but there is nothing you can do about it.

And here's one final thought: If the young man is as disabled as you say, but there is no oversight of his funds by a third party and you truly feel that this woman is taking advantage of this man's disability, then I would suggest you start by contacting whomever you think may help you rectify the problem.

You might try the young man's bank (explain to the manager that you believe he is being coerced out of his funds and provide details). You could also try his doctor (explain your concern that he is being taken advantage of due to the disparity in age and cognitive ability). Finally, you could try a local organization for people with disabilities, surely someone there would know how to advocate for change in this situation.

Good luck. 

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ YeddaHeads

The best advice to be given here is when the word "disabled" is better defined, and having the mind of a 12 year old isn't a sufficient definition for me. For example, some folks think of me as having the mind of a 16 year old in the body of a 51 year old guy. Without a clinical diagnosis that doesn't make me incapable of making my own decisions (ok ladies, it's my story and I'm sticking to it) nor does it make your friend incapable of making his own decisions.

I'd also want to know what your relationship is with the man in question (21 is not a boy) and if he's a close friend or relative and you don't agree with what he's doing you could have a well intended motive in attempting to separate them.  A 21 year old man and a 36 year old woman could be a judgement call and he's no doubt enjoying the fruits of this relationship and I won't go any further than that.

The bottom line, without a clinical diagnosis of mental disability, they are consenting adults and this relationship will run its course.

"I've heard you're a low down yankee liar!"

You do love to play the devils' advocate. LOL

I looked up and saw the world and wondered....

Kelly, you hit that one on the nose. Some folks think I'm actually Gary666.

"I've heard you're a low down yankee liar!"

interesting question , well is the 21 diagnosed as mental retarded? have you tried talking to her parent?

if none of this works and the male is mental retarded call your police department and make then aware or you could look up for you state mental disabled advocates.

if the male is just slow and not diagnosed bigger problem calling police could get him into trouble.

i would say office of disabled would be able to put you in contact with  an advocate that could protect him and children services to get after her if her parents refuse to do anything

good luck

<a href="" rel="nofollow" cl="mailto:ginagirl6761@yahoo.com" class="comlink">ginagirl6761@yahoo.com</a>

Codependants Anonymous for sure!

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