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I participate in a small group therapy session ...

I participate in a small group therapy session weekly. I am female. There is one guy in the group who seems to be quite pitiful...unattractive, never speaks and when he does, only mentions his grandmother, father and sister. He has no other relationships, does not seem to have much of a life, other than his job. When he mentioned his adversion to gays once, I asked him if he was secure in his sexuality. Of course, he said yes. I remember months ago mentioning to my husband that this guy struck me as the type that would someday snap and take out a bunch of people with a rifle. As luck would have it...he seems to have taken an interest in me. He knows that I am married, with children, but asked if we could play tennis sometime. I told him he could play with my husband and me, and left it at that. Last week, he seemed intent on sitting next to me in group, somehing he has not really done before. One of the other members painfully talked about the breakup of a 3 year relationship he had been in. As we were getting up to leave, the guy next to me looked at me and asked..."I wonder if she (referring to the woman from the 3 year relationship) works out at LA Fitness?" (referring to the guy who snapped recently because women showed him no interest, turned off the lights at LA Fitness, and starting shooting.) I notified our group leader of this comment. He assured me that nothing in this man's psychiatric evaluation pointed to anything dangerous, but he has terrified me with his question. I don't want to be anywhere near him. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Should I stay away, out of fear, or confront this man as to the meaning of his comment, in our group setting?

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In my opinion, I strongly feel you should not confront this man. Stay away from someone who makes you feel as you do - even if it means going to another group. The choices we make in life are important to what follows them. If you feel as though someone is going to bring harm to someone due to something you know it should be reported to the proper authorities and it doesn't sound like who you told was concerned but officers of the law just might. Just my opinion.

Charter member of S.N.O.T.S. Smokey Snotsbear

Discuss the specifics with your group leader. Make him aware of what's going on and ask him if it's possible to intervene on your behalf. Ask him to move him, or you to another group. This sounds as if he's on the verge of stalking you, and if it comes to this don't hesitate to report this to the authorities.

"I've heard you're a low down yankee liar!"

I agree completely with Donna and gary 999. If the group leader refuses to take the comments seriously, I would report to someone else in charge and  the authorities. And then I would find another group session to participate in.

Whatever you do, Do Not confront him. You can't be to careful in this day and age. The wrong word or phrase could easily push him over the edge if he is already standing near the precipice.

Find another group and leave with as little fanfare as possible. If anyone asks tell them it's a scheduling problem and this time frame isn't working for you presently. Then GO.

Yesterday's gone and Today is going fast, Tomorrow is all we have, Until it to has passed Band of One

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