Originated From

Potty training

My 3 year old daughter has visitation with her dad every other weekend. He has been impatient with the potty training process for awhile and uses humiliation (putting dirty diaper on head) and now is enforcing a 10 minute time out along with her cleaning herself and diaper as well as any surfaces that may have been in contact. I am very uncomfortable with this and fear it will cause physicological damage (her self esteem is impacted with the transition). Is this appropriate? He is requesting (or rather forcefully stating he wants me to do the same routine)... please help

Liked this question? Tell your friends about it

5 Answers

Order by
Oldest to Newest
Newest to Oldest

Your daughter's father needs some serious counseling (in addition to parenting classes) to learn why he finds it necessary to use humiliation in his attempts to 'discipline' her (for something she shouldn't be disciplined for to begin with!)  

Do NOT let this go.  Even if your daughter suddenly becomes potty-trained, he will find something else 'wrong' with her -- and he'll turn his anger on her in other ways.   Keep very specific notes of any 'incidents' you know about -- dates/times/circumstances.   Get a lawyer -- contact social services -- & get the police involved, if you feel she is in danger.

This "man" has NO business parenting a child.

Are you serious? This is really a no-brainer, so I cannot believe this is an actual question and not just something meant to yank our chains. However, on the off chance that you're not kidding, here goes...

This is absolutely not acceptable! It is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! and you shouldn't have had to ask, because every instinct you have should have been screaming "NO!"

So, by no means should you join in. Furthermore, you MUST take immediate action to get him to stop, and by that, I mean filing court documents to either discontinue his visitation or limit it to supervised visitation, only.

Additionally, your ex should be made to take a basic parenting class so he can learn the skills he needs in order to build a strong relationship with your daughter ~ what he's doing is NOT cutting it.

If you think your ex will listen to reason (could his mother help with that?), then by all means, try it. Otherwise, be prepared to go see a lawyer (or go to court to pick up documents to file yourself) the first thing Tuesday morning.

Good luck and get going!

Turn off the television and teach your children how to think. ~ Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see. (B. Franklin) ~ I do not respond in Comments ~ Trespassers will be eaten. Cowards, idiots and spammers will be shot on sight. ~ YeddaHeads

Don't you dare use the same routine at your house this is child abuse pure and simple. You need to call CPS and report him and your lawyer and have his custodial rights removed. If this is his answer to potty training then he doesn't need to be alone with your daughter...ever. Supervised visitation only. I can only imagine how he might punish her for other "offenses". This is most definitely 100% psychologically damaging your child. Go get on the phone now.

Your daughter is still spending time with your husband becuase why? This is ABUSE and it's not going to help her learn to go to the potty any faster. A dirty diaper on her head...really? And you let her go back? Call a lawyer and CPS NOW!

Yeah, I can see why he's your ex husband. I'm a former therapist. I can tell you, Everything your husband is doing is guaranteed to damage your daughter psychologically, as well as making her hate her father. He is 100% WRONG. Seriously wrong. You don't potty tain by punishment and humiliation, you do it with fun and good humor, praise and reward. This cannot continue. If she hasn't already started wetting the bed, I promise you, she soon will. She may also start peeing her pants, or peeing in the closet, hiding anywhere to pee in order to avoid having to go to the bathroom. What your husband is teaching her is that the bathroom is the absolute LAST place she wants to go for any reason at all. I shudder to even think what else he's doing to her in non bathroom related behavior he's trying to 'reinforce'. He is abusive and, personally, your daughter would be far better off never seeing him ever again.

If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, then that makes me a burning truck filled with TNT hurtling through a rocket fuel depot.

Related Questions

Other people asked questions on similar topics, check out the answers they received:

Asked: What to do for parents who had miscarriage?

what to do for parents who had miscarriage?

Asked: Is it hard being a parent?

Is it hard being a parent?

Asked: Why do children always prefer the parent who was ...

Why do children always prefer the parent who was out of their lives most of their lives?

Ask a Question... We'll forward it to people who know

More Questions

What are the ways to potty train your dog?

Hello Highlandspring! When it comes to puppies and urination. You have to be QUICK and catch them in the act, run them outside ASAP and let them finish, hopefully. Puppies who sleep in a crate dont usually deficate in the same place they sleep so you'll know when they have to go. If they have ...

how can i succesfully potty train a 4 year old boy who is terrified of

Why not try using a childs toilet seat instead of a potty http://prizesandsurprises-millie.blogspot.com/

What is the appropriate age to begin potty ...

I have a brother, who is 21 months old, and he has been potty training for a few weeks now and seems to have got the hang of it. Girls usually start doing things e.g. walking, talking etc before boys do. So I don't think it is too early :)

What methods should I adopt in order to quickly potty train my puppy

Training Puppy the First Week Puppies learn very quickly with proper instruction. The first few days in a new home are extremely important for your puppy and the precedents you set now will last a lifetime. full article House Training Your Puppy Housetraining, Housebreaking or Potty Training ...