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Parent's divorce

My parents got a really ugly divorce and it has affected me un a big way. I feel resentfull thowards my dad and I don?t trust men anymore because i feel ill get hurt like my mom. Im 19 and i?ve never been in a relationship because of that. I get really depressed at times and it has started to reflect on my studies. How can I make this stop affecting my personal life?

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Please see a Mental Health Counselor or therapist.  You need to talk about it, if only for a while.  If you do not have insurance to cover your visits, then join a support group. 

When a person goes through a tragic experience, it is normal to feel resentful, hurt, etc.  So don't be hard on yourself.  Allow yourself to grieve. Than after the grieving, continue to take small steps in leaving the past behind you and start looking forward.   

"Taken from the movie "Titanic" "A woman dies with many secrets in her heart"

Repeat after me.  " I AM NOT MY PARENTS"

     " MY PARENTS ARE AS HUMAN AND FUCKED UP AS EVERYONE ELSE "

     " IT'S NOT HIS FUALT. It's not her fualt. Shit happens, and it takes two to tango. "

     " NO MATTER WHAT, MY FATHER WILL ALWAYS BE MY FATHER. "

     " NO MATTER WHAT, MY MOTHER WILL ALWAYS BE MY MOTHER "

      " NO MATTER HOW SCREWED UP THEY ARE "

      " I  AM NOT MY PARENTS "

          " I AM NOT MY PARENTS "

               " I AM NOT MY PARENTS "

 

 Repeat as nesisary

Hay. You think I'm crazy? You should hear the voices in my head. Those people have issues.

I’m so sorry what you are going through. During my time with Focus on the Family,  I’ve heard from quite a few young people who have faced similar challenges after their parents divorced, and I want to assure you that it’s natural to be confused – and even frustrated – about this matter. 

 I’m pleased to be able to share a few thoughts with you: The first think you need to know is that – you aren’t responsible for your parents’ divorce or the complex decisions you’re facing now. Still, it’s important to remember that God knows what you are going through, and He has promised to never leave you. He hurts when you hurt, and He wants to be your source of comfort, strength, and guidance during this stressful time.  In addition, it would be a good idea for you to approach a caring friend.  If there isn’t anyone nearby you feel comfortable talking to, I’d like to invite you to call and speak with one of their licensed counselors.  All of them are committed therapists and very understanding people, who are there to listen, answer questions, etc;  this service is free.  Their telephone number is 1-855-771-HELP (4357), and their office is open from 6:00 A.M. to 8:00 P.M. (MT) Monday through Friday.  

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