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What should parent do when adult child blames them for everything?

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There's not much you can do. You can't defend yourself because his mind is already set and all you would accomplish is more arguments.. Just let him continue to cloud his mind and put the blame on someone else for his inadaquities but do not allow him to intimidate, gloat over or abuse you in any way. Allowing this will only escalate his fantasies and if it goes too far, I'd find a way to excommunicate myself from him.

What was the question...?

Be cool and just care them and want to know why they are doing as and try to solve their problems.


Hi, let's see this in 2 perspective: a) education   b) communication

a) i have a colleague who is suffering from depression. Through her story, i found out that the way her parents educate/nurture her are quite negative, causing her to feel tension, pessimist. So parents do influence their children a lot through their teaching/education.

b) lack of communication. Recently i just had an argument with my mum. I used to keep quiet but not this time. Because i care. So i wrote a letter to her, stating my thoughts and feelings. And guess what? my mum understands and we're alright now. So try to communicate with your child.

p/s: i don't really know your background so do forgive me if i'm wrong. Just trying to help Smile

"Everything will be fine in the end; If it's not, it's not the end."

Writing the letter was ingenious on your part.  That way you don't SAY things you will regret in a verbal argument or confrontation.

Parenting has everything to with the outcome of what kind of person your child becomes. 


Accept the blame, apologize and ask them what you can do to make it up to them if that's possible...and go from there.

Good Luck, Honey.

"A daughter holds your hand for only a short while...but she holds your heart forever."

You can only tell them what you think but people, especially adults, have to have their own boundaries at times.

Some people seem to always have to bleme others than take responsibility for themselves. I've screwed up a lot in life. I've had my bad behavior. I wasn't always the happy, wise chap I am now. But I always knew when something was my fault and when it was someone else's, and I worked hard to make sure I knew the difference. If I did it, I owned it. Some people just never learn that lesson.

If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, then that makes me a burning truck filled with TNT hurtling through a rocket fuel depot.

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