I have read extensively about Disassociate Disorder and Schizophrenia. I am noticing some of these traits in my husband of 27 yrs. His behavior has changed over these last 4 years of our marriage. He is engaged in behaviors that I have never witnessed before....such behaviors as seducing young 24 yrs old girls into having sex with him. He is 51 yrs of age. He is meeting these females in malls, the local grocery store, clubs, restaurant, etc. He is presenting himself as this 40 yr. old single man. He is angry most of the time. He is having outburst in banks, doctors' offices, stores, etc. He feels that people are violating him. I haven't witness anyone doing anything to him. He seemed agitated around crowds. He sees life from the lens of a abusive man. He is drinking and seducing women for sex and hanging out in clubs. At one moment he is kind and accomodating and in a split second he can turn into someone I do not recognize. It is fightening! I have had him removed from the home on a restraining order now. We have a 26 and 10 yr. old. Our 26 yrs old can't believe how his dad is living his life and the 10 yr. old is so hurt over his dad not having any interest in his life any longer. He is always extremely exhausted and complaining of duress. My husband seems aloof and disconnected from reality. Everything is black or white for him, but he has no clue to the consequences of his actions and how they have caused so much pain in our lives. He is numb and mentally distant from matters regarding his behaviors. If I ask him to seek professional help, he replies nothing is wrong with him, that it is me. I have been in counseling for his abuse for 10 months now and today I am so thankful that I can comprehend his pain. My husband was raised in a very abusive family. His father raped his sister for 16 yrs and beat his mother mercifully. He admits that he was beat like a wild animal when he was a kid. He admits that this treatment was horrible, but he seemed to be greatful for the beating. I don't understand this, because if he recognizes someone else abuse he speaks against it, but he doesn't feel that he was abused. It is as if he has form some alternate personality to soothe the matters over in his mind. For example, he was watching T.V. one day and saw a man who had sexual assaulted a young child and he became enraged and starting yelling that the man needed to go to prision, but yet he doesn't feel that his father should have paid a price for his crime against his sister. He has removed himself from any abuse in his child-hood. I have asked him to seek help because clearly he is experiencing pain from the abuse. He doesn't believe it has effected him. He degrades women and is angry at senior citizens, in whom I feel he has NO reason to be. I just don't understand my husband's reasoning for his insane behaviors. My counselor has advised me to divorce him and don't recieve any more abuse from him. Here is the issue, he is nice and kind at times and I have lost almost all of my vision due to a eye disease and is scared of living alone. He seems so kind and helpful at times and want to assist me in my living and takng care of our son. But other times he is angry, aloof, and inpatient. What do you suggest I do regarding this situation? I want him to get help for his condition and is not sure if he recognizes his own illness.
Thanks Kindly,
KJH
