marriage

My husband always complains and says something ...

My husband always complains and says something that make me feel disappointed..Most of these happens when I plan and want to do something or go to a place. I would tell him my plans before doing it. I dont plan or do something right away without telling him. But once we are already in the car he will open his mouth to say, " I dont understand why you want to do this. This is not the best time to do this", or " why are we going here for???? nothing much to do here.."My husband never plans anything for us to have fun. He would always ask me want I want to do and when I planned out something he would make me feel bad that I dont make good decisions.. This is so common that we always end up in a big fight. He would always promise me that he will never do it again but does not and it keeps getting worse.. What should I do??? Please advise..

confused housewife.

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3 Answers

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Jay Schiffres Answered:

It would be helpful if you and your husband planned together any trips etc. Like you might make a game of it and have each of you write down the top 10 places to go to. Then both of you narrow the list down and finally agree. Telling him you planned a trip hits the male ego. Inclusion is my answer.

Posted 2 years ago

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NJOY Answered:

Your husband sounds like a passive-agressive person to me. He does not have the courage to suggest something and risk you being disappointed and then him feeling bad, so he leaves the decision making up to you and then attacks whatever it is you've decided and does it after things are underway. It is a cowardly way to behave.

It's possible to break him of the habit, if you could get him to feel successful in some way. If you could get him to choose something, anything, and then make sure you compliment him on his suggestion. Do this a number of times,and lie like the dickens if you have to. The more successful he feels the more suggestions he'll make and things may even out for you. Hard work? you bet. Good Luck. It's either that or continue like you are now.

Posted 2 years ago

"In becoming forcibly and essentially aware of my mortality...what I regretted most were my silences...ANDRE LORDE

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fbamc1 Answered:

seems that he is a complainer and you are a doer next fight do you walk out for a few hours or does he? Seems that he holds back comment untill its a go. So make some very open plans without him and go.I could also sugest that you gather a small item of his clothing and make a small doll out of it adding some of his hair in the stuffing dab it with his cologne . As you make your next plan set it asside and tell it your plans and bind it three times then off you 2 go