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Posted by kayjay 4 years ago In:

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kayjay
kayjay Asked About 'marital problems that erode the foundations of a marriage'

What if your wife of 9 years says that she still ...

What if your wife of 9 years says that she still loves you, but doesn't think she is still "in love" with you? Feels as if you are are just good friends now?

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CarolW
CarolW Answered:

After years of marriage, love is what is important. Being "in love" does not necessarily last forever, it is the love and caring for one another that lives on through years of marriage. The passion that is there at the beginning is not always meant to last forever. What is meant to last  is your love, trust, and friendship. If you want to reignite the passion then find ways to spend romantic time together. Talk to her about how you feel and how you love her and want to bring the passion back into your relationship. Good luck.

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SKIPTON
SKIPTON Answered:

To me, you situation sounds somewhat ominous for the relationship. Over the years, I have heard the same story a good number of times, that the s/o is no longer in love, but loves him/her only as a best friend. Personally, I did not necessarily want to marry just my best friend, instead I chose the special person whom I loved in a variety of ways (eg as a person, spiritually, sexually, romantically). Such love is not typically lost in a healthy long-term relationship, although it may well become modified over time.

 

Is she generally happy in the relationship, and with you as a husband? Are there any warning signs of problems that need to be addressed? I always worry when there is a substantial loss of love in a relationship.

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tigger13
tigger13 Answered:

Honey, I have been through what your going through and the reason my ex said that to me is because he was cheating on me.  I'm not saying thats the case with your wife but it sounds sooooo familiar.  You deserve more in life then living as good friends.  After 2 years of divorce I married a man who had been married once before.  We have learned to appreciate and never take each other for granted.  In turn we have been very happy together.  Whichever way you decide to move forward in your life whether it be divorce or trying to work it out I so wish you the best of luck.  Sincerely

Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what your gonna git.
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Becker0109
Becker0109 Answered:

You need to have her lay out her thought more clearly. It is not clear when she says she loves you, yet is not "in love with you." Perhaps she thinks that the grass is greener on the other side or is missing something inside of her. I would suggest that you two get to a counselor ASAP.

Good luck.

Starving for love!
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Shannonr1179
Shannonr1179 Answered:

Aside from all the negative thoughts given here, maybe she is speaking only the truth she just isn't IN Love with you. There are ways to fix that if that is the only problem here. Its gonna take some creativity on your behalf but    just think   when is the last time you done something really special for her   JUST BECAUSE.

Being in love is work it doesn't just come natural

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