I constantly call my husband stupid

Hi,

You are in deep deep deep trouble.  Your relations are horrible.... in fact I wouldn't define it "relations" at all.  You have only 2 possible options: Either you solve that proplem or split.  It won't be easy to solve it and I believe you'll need a 3rd party to do it (I don't think you'll be able to do it by yourself).  Solving it means that your relations will be based on respect + trust + possitive contribution (of both of you).  At present you are in a very low point (in terms of your relation) and you desperately need help / assistance to rebuild them.  There is no magics here, to go out of it needs a long, hard, painfull process.  Sorry to paint a dark  picture, but that's the truth.... the picture is very dark
Best regards,

Can I ask why you are even with him? Clearly you do not love him so I'm not sure why you even waste your time.

Without pecking too much into your personal life I think you have a major problem and it's probably not easy for you to break up. There is no rush to do it either. Getting a third side to do it is a good idea. Try approaching a good friend of his , try explaining the situation and how it is ruining  the house the both of you have built. Speaking to each other in the words you used won't help at all whatever you both say to each other won't even be heard by anyone. There are always two sides to the story you might find out stuff you didn't realize before. Meanwhile getting mad isn't helping as well calm down stress and anger cause lots of health problems.

Why did you two marry?  Did he smoke before marriage?  Is he a drug addict  who steals to support his habit?  How does he support  drug habit?  It sounds like you two are headed for destruction.  You don't need to do anything, your marriage is doing it for you.  I don't see a future with him unless a serious intervention is immediately enforced.  Especially if you have children.  Are you in need of financial support?  Why don't you add to your income by selling the video games.  If he complains, tell him to get a job and purchase a new one.

Sorry that your marriage isn't working out.

But you knowingly married a stupid idiot?  You continue to fight with someone you think has lower intelligence than you, who also is a addict, and is not rationale?   Then you like to insult them.

Ok, what does that make you?  There are names for people that act this way too.

So my advice is, have more self-respect for yourself, and move on from this relationship.  You can't change him, he's not worth the aggrevation, your marriage is over. 

I was in a marriage once where my husband called me stupid all the time. No matter how much we discussed it and he promissed that he would stop, it never did. He "brow-beat" me down so much that I had no self confidence in myself at all. It is the worst feeling in the world when the person who supposedly loves you degrades you. Think of what you are doing to him. If you love him you must help make himself better and make smarter choices. You are suppose to work as a team in your marraige. If you don't like something he has done or said ( and you truely do think he is stupid ) the thing to do is to say something like .... When you ______ it makes me feel like ______. That focuses on the relationship and is not just a negative attack on him. Good luck. Me? Well, we tried for many months but I finally left him. I was the best thing I ever did. I found someone who thought I was smart and now I am confident and happy. Sometimes it will never work out no matter how hard you tiry. But, it is best to try to work it out before you have to call it quits.

I'm in the same position, he smokes and drinks every day if he can, is a student but has no job.  (I am a student with a job)  We have 5 children and a lot of financial commitments, not to mention that I can't drive.  So although I would love to leave him, I don't know how to manage, we've been together so long, but I've watched him get worse and worse. (He didn't drink when I met him and had stopped smoking for 3 years).  I once suggested that we should consider splitting up but he got aggressive, totally unreasonable (I was trying to hold a mature discussion about it) and blackmailed me by claiming that if I divorced him, he would refuse to see our children.  What can I do, he knows I am deeply unhappy when he is around.