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Does he love me?

My boyfriend watches porno and looks at playboy. It really hurts me and he doesn't understand that. I don't like another woman turning him on, I feel I should be enough for him. And it really does hurt me, I cry and everything. What should I do? I can't change the way I feel, if i could i would. Sometimes I feel like he don't love me because he won't change for me. Does he still love me?

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2 Answers

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OronD Answered:

Hi,
You take it much too far. Without justifying it or even explaining it, the fact is that he enjoys it. It doesn't mean that it "turns him on"... he only enjoys it.... nothing more.... and that has nothing to do with how much he loves you. He can love you with all his heart and still enjoy that stuff. You should tackle that issue in two ways (in parallel):
1. Change your paradigma (Convince yourself it's
     not as big a problem as you took it originally).
2. "Work" hard to convince him to change himself
     and be more considerative towards you and
     towards your feelings.
Please don't loose proportions... sure it's a problem but couples face in their lives much more seriouse problems than this one....
What really bothers me is not that he likes watching that stuff but that he is stuborn and won't change himself.... that's a bad sign.... and might lead to a relation that you'll have to go his way and do exactly what he wants (or you'll risk breaking it).... and that's bad.... Sorry to add this remark but I feel I have to open your eyes to the truth.
Best regards,

Posted 4 years ago
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Love is the battery of life....

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Jules Answered:

I think it is difficult for us to understand why men get so turned on by the imaginary and the unattainable. Your boyfriend watching porno has no connection to how much he loves you. For some men, even if they love you and only want to be with you for the rest of their lives, they need/want to be visually stimulated by the unreal. That is key. Porno is not a reality and men know that, which is why they think it is ok for them to watch it. If it really bothers you, then he should respect that, but you most certainly do not need to take it personally and even consider that it means that he loves you less. Good luck.