Still in love and heartbroken

 My son's father and i met through one of our mutual friends. Me and him were good friends before we dated. I was'nt really all that interested in him, but he's a scorpio and he was aggressive at pursuing me. He had a great personality  and it was hard to not fall for him. He was so kind, loveing, protective, he took care of me while i was pregnant financially. He is my first love, first  everything.We lived together for a while during and  after i had our son and ended up fighting all the time, till out of nowhere in september of 2008 he told me he gave the landlord notice he was moving out at the end of the month. I was devastated but knew we needed to work on some things financially before we lived together again. i moved in with my parents again and Things were ok between us, he came over everyday to see his son and me, we were still sexually involved on a daily basis practically, i helped him out with what i could, food,bills, ect. things werent perfect but they werent as bad as i thought either.  every so often i would get a weird feeling about him loveing me still , i would ask him out right if he was not in love with me or if he didnt want to be with me anymore, he said if he felt that way, he would tell me and me wouldnt be together if that was the case. So i focused on getting myself together, back in school and taking care of our son. Then around valentines day, i noticed things started to change. we argued that day so he never came to see me  or even so much as say happy valentines day to me.    His calls became less frequent, he hardly told me he loved me , never came to see me on my birthday and so on. I confronted him, and said if he wasnt going to love me the way i deserved to be loved, then he needed to let me go, he responded saying he was going through so much and under stress, ( he was finalizing his divorce with his ex wife, they been seperated 6 years) , so i understood. I just gave him a little space, and stopped nagging him tobe with us so much.  On memorial day , he picked up myself and our son and we went to his housefor the evening, made love, he told me i was his queen, we ate and watched movies. that was my last time over there.   He left out of town june 1, and returned back around the 7th , he stopped by for a while to see his son, he was acting distant, but not anymore then he had been acting the previous months so i thought nothing of it. Im not completely innocent, i have a sharp tongue so if he makes me mad or hurts my feelings, i give it back to him.on fathers day, we argued over something dumb, and i never seen him. ABout a week later , he called me, he was at the doctors office, for his broken hand. I heard another girl in the backround and asked who that was, he wouldnt answer me, he kept tryin to change the subject, then resulting in me going over to his place to see who it was. I pulled up and saw him with another girl, i went ballistic, he was tryin to protect her, he was saying i was crazy and stalking him , i asked her how long they been together, she wouldnt answer, she was just smiling like it was funny. He looked me in my face and asked me "when have i ever said we were together"? i  freaked out and threw a brick through his back window of his car, (that i helped pay for). He called the police on me and i went to jail. I went crazy in the jail cell overnight thinking about him and her. when i got out i called him and he had his phone on speaker the whole time letting her listen to what i was asking and talking about, i could hear her laughing. I asked him how he could do that to me and his son over her, he never gave me an answer, and asked about me paying for his car window. He kept denying being with me, and said i did too much to him. Its been about 3 weeks now, i have not spoken to him, he has not attempted to call us and i'm crushed over this. i need closure, i need to know why he did this to me. Im still in love with him, and he promised me he would never hurt me or cheat on me. I need someone elses opinion or advice other then my moms.

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Best Answer

Tisha2 ,  I am sorry but ...  Your Son's Father is not in love with you .  He's moved on and you need to do the same . This man is nothing more than a sperm donor , one needs to be careful whom one makes a Baby with .  Your top priority is your Son.  His happiness , health , safety and welfare is you number one responsibility .  You can't force this man to be a good Father , but you can and should force him to take financial responsibility for his Son .  Tisha , again move on , focus on your Son .  There's a good , loving , honest,  loyal man out there for you , that will love , respect and value you as well as your Son .  Seek a Man with these qualities he will be a much better role model for your Son , your number one concern and responsibility .  I wish you and your Son happiness and the love of a good man . 

S.N.O.T.S. Snotsworth's fair lady snots'quus .... Wild & free protect the mustang !........ Bear down chicago bears!!......Hail purdue go boilers !..... Want a sure thing for your money . Lay it down to a thoroughbred rescue . Bet on life after racing !

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Hi Tisha,
A very sad story.  Equus gave you an excellent answer (as she always does, thumb up).   I would like to add several comments:
1.  Things are not always going in the way you want.
2.  You can't force someone to love you.
3.  Never loose your temper and never be violent.
4.  From you desciption it is clear that you and him do
     not get along together. 
5.  He is a cheater and a player.....
6.  It's clear that you love him and miss him but this
     man is not 4U. 
7.  Concentrate on your son and yourself.
8.  Be much more selective in finding your true love
     (and a good father to your son).
9.  Force yourself to forget about your ex (he is not
     worth your tears)
Best regards,

Love is the battery of life....

Hey Orond , Very well said My Friend , thumb up .

S.N.O.T.S. Snotsworth's fair lady snots'quus .... Wild & free protect the mustang !........ Bear down chicago bears!!......Hail purdue go boilers !..... Want a sure thing for your money . Lay it down to a thoroughbred rescue . Bet on life after racing !

Thank you both very much, i needed to know how it was viewed by the outside. truth hurts but i know i will be fine.

Tisha2 ,  You are more than Welcome .  YES you will be fine .  Focus on that beautiful Son of yours that you have been blessed with .  I wish the both of you the Best .

S.N.O.T.S. Snotsworth's fair lady snots'quus .... Wild & free protect the mustang !........ Bear down chicago bears!!......Hail purdue go boilers !..... Want a sure thing for your money . Lay it down to a thoroughbred rescue . Bet on life after racing !

G-d bless you Tisha.   You are very smart to understand what to do.   Yes, it might hurt but you'll be on the right path.   I'll pray for you and your son. 

Love is the battery of life....

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