I have been in a relationship for 11months and being engaged for about 6months of it. the Last one week has been the most challenging. I do truly love this lady and can give my world for her to be happy but she seems to take the words of her friends more serious than mine. to start with, none of them has ever had a serious relationship and dont know what it takes to be in one, but she seems to see them as her mentors. I feel like i'm loosing my babe faster than the speed of light and i dont know what else to do. Pls i need serious help! we are meant to be getting married in four months time and that is gradually fading away. pls give me sincere advice.
Ask her if she still wants to get married in four months. Then, accept her answer.
Sam, I know neither your circumstances nor how old you are but the first thing I have to say after reading your question is, "What's your hurry?"
Your relationship is just under a year old and you have been engaged for slightly more than half the length of the relationship. Did you know this woman before you became a couple? If not, why the rush to claim her as your "babe" and get married?
From what you write, it seems as though you may be the one pushing the relationship forward, and that (to me) says that you have some issues you aren't acknowledging or addressing.
Yes, you say you love the woman and only want her to be happy. So? You infer that she is incapable of choosing correctly in love since neither she nor her friends have ever been in a "serious" relationship. Looking at it from the other side of the coin, that implies that you have, so you are 'automatically' more aware of what things 'should' be like than she.
How so? To my way of thinking, that only begs the question as to why you ignored the mistakes you made in your last "serious" relationship and hurried to replace that one with this one.
Care to explain in more detail? Because what you've said here makes me think that your bride-to-be is listening to her inner voice and her friends are supporting her decision. Something's off somewhere, and it may be you.
I agree, we need a few more details, esp about you feeling that you are loosing her faster than the speed of light. I understand the 'mentors' part but what has she done to make you feel what you feel?
One thing is certain... You have some serious feelings that must be dealt with. This will not get better just because you get married. It's so easy to jump in and get married and so hard and messy to get divorced.
Ask her (and ask yourself) Why do I feel what I feel? She should be more than willing to sit down with you and discuss this without the input of the air head mentors. If she does not respond to your satisfaction, stop the wedding plans. You are headed for a disaster. If you proceed with the wedding plans anyway, good luck. You'll need it. Your marriage will not only be to her but to her mentors as well.
Sam, I would take a step back and ask yourself why are you in such a rush. I know how exciting planning a wedding is and how stars shine bright but you have only been with her one year. Marriage is for a lifetime. I don't think I can devote myself to a car only after a year, let alone a marriage. If she is acting in ways that bother you or scare you, you need to sit her down without her friends and talk to each other, Really talk, don't accuse, or shout because that will get you no where. Talk to her with respect and ask the big questions If you don't get this straighten out now, you will end up in divorce. If it were my child asking me for advise I would tell them to wait on getting married. One year isn't nearly enough time to know someone. It really isn't. Good luck to you I hope you wait....
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