How can I get my kid to go to school without fighting with her?

I would talk to her when things are calm. 7-year-olds are remarkably intelligent. Talk about school and what she likes there. Talk about the kids, the teachers, and the ride or walk to school. Let the conversation lag if she doesn't want to talk, but bring it up again in a gentle way. Try to elicit information about what she likes about school. Try to find out if something is bothering her.

I would call the school and ask to speak to the teacher and I would go to the school for a meeting with the teacher and the principal, if necessary, but without telling my daughter. They might know a reason my child isn't enjoying school that I would not know.

I would volunteer at the school for a program. Sometimes it's a charity event, or the parents might dish out lunch on a special day. If it means taking an hour or two out of work, I would, because this is a priority.

I'd tell my daughter stories I can remember from my 7-year-old days at school and try to make them funny.

Most important of all, I would make the mornings as calm as we could, which would mean early to bed for kids and Mommy. We would have to wake up early enough so breakfast could be pleasant and leaving for school would be the normal going off to our respective "jobs".

And I would make routines so everyone, and especially our little 7-year-old, would know what to expect next because it happens every day. The order in her life would help her to establish confidence and hopefully that would let her go forth happily into her day.

I think school refusal at age seven can be caused by many things like problems with school work, bullying, separation anxiety, irrational fears.

First you should talk to your daughter about what she likes and doesn't like about school.

Next, you need to ask at the school how your daughter's mood and behaviour seems to be in class and at playtmes. Ask if there have been any incidents in class or play area recently that could be making your child anxious. She may need some extra teaching support if she is finding the classwork difficult. There may be some minor learning difficulties that sometimes aren't obvious until around age 7.

Some standard developmental checks like eyesight and hearing checks will catch or eliminate either of those problems and negative impacts on your daughter's confidence that these may be affecting.

If you are in a power struggle with your child about going to school, and you don't fix this soon, the power struggle can start to escalate into other areas of family life and discipline, which will be a very damaging situation for you all.

You may want to take a look at this excellent program for achieving family harmony and an anxiety free child.

The program deals with many areas of parent child relationships and school refusal in great depth.