Posted by Nes 5 years ago In:

relationships

Nes Asked:

Is it really a joke now...?

Okay, My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 months. I really love her and I feel like she really love's me. Anyway, the other day my girlfriend and I were drinking in our living room and we were sitting on the couch watching Sweeney Todd. Half way through the movie/musical I noticed that she was texting. At one point, I glanced at her phone to see what she was texting and I noticed that she responded "AM". For some reason, that really caught my attention and I discretely grabbed her cell phone and told her that I was going to the bath room. Once in the bathroom, I began reading all the text messages and noticed that it was a guy she was texting. To this "guy" she texted "It's ok, my guy works in the morning and I don't go to work until 5 PM so I am spending the entire morning by myself." the guy then replies "so when can I go over?" she says, "Tomorrow at 9" the guy then asks, "AM or PM?" she then says "AM" then she added "we can smoke, chill and lay in bed."

Since I was practically drunk, I read every text message very carefully before going to the living room and blowing up on her. It made sense to me and I went to the living room to confront her. I asked her what the fuck that was about on her phone and she said to me that "it was a joke, I noticed that you were looking at my phone the other day, so I planned this out with my guy friend that I know way back from High School. It's NOTHING, it was supposed to be a joke, I didn't think you were going to take it this way...."

Well, after that I left the living room thinking about how well she knows me and how I would get if I were to find something like that. I honestly feel like that will always be in the back of my head whether it was a joke or not.. Since she says that she knows the guy from high school I figure that she wanted to actually do something with the guy and since she got caught before doing the deed, she played it off as a "joke". So I also ask myself, "What if I would've never taken the cell phone and read the text messages? Would it have happened or what...?

My question is..was this really a joke and if so, why joke like that, knowing that this will probe my trust for her?

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12 Answers

Order by: Oldest to Newest; Newest to Oldest; Votes

OronD Answered:

Hi,
No one in the world is able to know if it was a joke or not (excluding her and the other guy). You have to decide: Do you believe her or not ?. If I were you I would confront that other guy (meet him, look carefully into his eyes, watch his body language while answering, and listen carefully to his words and the way he answers). Personally I wouldn't believe her.
Best regards,

Posted 5 years ago
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Love is the battery of life....

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Ask Me Anything Answered:

Hello,

First I am sorry for your hurt. Your trust issues will never be the same and you will always "wonder" what she is up to and you will feel the need to snoop in everything every chance that you get. It will take a long time if ever, to get over this. It is your call if you want to try to get through the trust issues. Personally, I've been through something similar and I could not. Good Luck.

Posted 5 years ago

Looking at love is not an easy process, as one must look at all of the relationships in their lives, both past and present, in order to understand current conceptions, patterns and expectations.

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DB Lady Answered:

Hi,

You need to sit down and discuss this with her and tell her that you want the truth, only the truth. You can decide depending on her honest answer. Be prepared for an unpleasant reply.

Don't stress because of this. If she is cheating, then you need to move on and find someone trustworthy and honest. Take care.

Posted 5 years ago
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Be honest and be true to yourself.

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Maria Answered:

Hello...

I really think...I couldn´t believe her.

And in case that was a joke.......please... you don´t have to do that!!!

Good luck!

Posted 5 years ago

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Glyttch Answered:

Have to agree with OronD on this one. This isnt a matter of truth anymore, it's a matter of trust. If you believe her, and trust her, go with your gut. If not, same answer. The tough question is regardless of if you believe her or not, if she's not telling the truth and she is sleeping around on you, are you ready to make the hard choice of continuing or ending the relationship. Time to start considering how much this girl really means to you.

Another thing to consider: If it was, in fact, a joke...do you really want to be with someone who so totally disregards your feelings that way?

Posted 5 years ago
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{Insert Catchy Phrase HERE}

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lion13 Answered:

it sounds like something has been going on for a while for her to have a answer readly available when she was confronted.Must people who are cheating always turn it around on the other person and this makes you doubt yourself.What is your gout telling u.listein to your gut instinct it will never let you down.A user and manipulater always know what to say.And they always get there come up ins.I only hope that you dont stay around long enough with her to have your heart broken and self esteem draging on the ground.Good Luck.I hope this helps.

Posted 5 years ago
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Equus Answered:

Either way she is wrong and it shows she has no regard for your feelings , and has no respect for you or your relationship . I personally do not believe her story and think she is cheating on you with this guy , think you also know this to be the case in your heart . If you want to try and repair the relationship just remember she broke the trust it is up to her to repair it , and if she is not willing to admit she is cheating , then she doesn't care about you by continuing to lie . Ask yourself this do you want to spend the rest of your life with a liar , sorry but that is what she is .

Posted 5 years ago
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S.N.O.T.S. Snotsworth's fair lady snots'quus .... Wild & free protect the mustang !........ Bear down chicago bears!!......Hail purdue go boilers !..... Want a sure thing for your money . Lay it down to a thoroughbred rescue . Bet on life after racing !

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dizz Answered:

she wsa in the wrong when she did that not really concidering your feelings is bs and coming from a girl i ?ould never joke like that it actually sounds like she is sleeping around and its ur choice if she means the world to you and you think you can trust her then stay but if you dont then justt end it like a wise person once told me if you love someone let it go and if it comes back then its yours and if it doesnt then it wasnt your ... ****dizz****