When we lost our only child when she was 28, 3 months before her 29th birthday. She was in a slip & fall accident. Her specialist never took her head injury seriously. Almost 4 months later she passed ...
I'm so sorry for your loss. You won't ever get over it, but you may be able to learn to cope with it. Have you considered professional counseling? It sounds like you and your husband could both use it but if he's not willing to go with you, I think you should definitely go by yourself.
Grief support would probably also help you a lot. Here are some links that may start you off.