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Posted by Kds 10 months ago In:

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Kds
Kds Asked:

Trying to get over my horrific loss

When we lost our only child when she was 28, 3 months before her 29th birthday. She was in a slip & fall accident. Her specialist never took her head injury seriously. Almost 4 months later she passed away. I can't function. I'm a zombie. My brain no longer functions properly. Everything in my life is in termoil. I'm now being mentally abused by my husband of 32+ years, I can't do anything but pray, read the Bible, and take care of cats. When my business was successful, our relationship was fine. Now since our daughter's passing, he accuses me of stealing ;his money. I'm expected to take care of everything. Being an artist I've always been independent, very giving, loved my family, my daughter was #1 in my life. If it wasn't for the LORD, I would of already ended this pain. She's been gone for over a year, it's getting worse, not better. My husband's not making my situation better. He knows since I can't function, I don't have money to leave. He has me 1700 miles from my family. I need help, anti depressants don't work for me. I've started having panic attacks, those are aweful! I'm not getting better after my loss. My husband feels he puts in his hours at work as soon as he's in the door, it's beer, Grand Marnier, and hydrocodone and now into my Xanax. I'm stuck, I have nobody in this place, no family. Hubby knows this, he just mentally abuses me more, now with the accusation of me stealing his money, that hurts me to the core. I'm to the point, I don't care, I have nothing left to live for! How can I get over these feelings?

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P. McMakin
P. McMakin Answered:

I'm so sorry for your loss. You won't ever get over it, but you may be able to learn to cope with it. Have you considered professional counseling? It sounds like you and your husband could both use it but if he's not willing to go with you, I think you should definitely go by yourself.

Grief support would probably also help you a lot. Here are some links that may start you off.

http://www.griefshare.org/findagroup

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx

http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

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Anonymous
Anonymous Answer:

You won't get over the loss of your daughter, but as an adult, you should know how to cope better.

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Bonestructure
Bonestructure Answered:

You never really get over the loss of a child. It does get easier in time. But your abusive husband isn't allowing you to grieve in the way you need to. I really think you need to think about getting away from him. He's making your life miserable, and you don't need that.

And are you SURE your daughter fell, or did your husband hit her or push her and cause her to fall? He's a big enough asshole to do it, and the way he's acting, he's guilty of SOMETHING.

If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, then that makes me a burning truck filled with TNT hurtling through a rocket fuel depot.
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girl
girl Answered:

kds, I'm so sorry for your loss and all the pain you have to endure. I'm sorry also because your husband is not being understanding or supportive. But probably he's dealing with so much himself and he's getting out his anger on you; which is still not right to do.

I'm sure you know this already, but sometimes a gentle reminder helps. God knows exactly how you feel, He understands your pain and His heart breaks. But it's even more than this, He knows how to heal you and He is able to do it... if you let Him. He is so good at turning pain into blessings. I don't know what good could come out from losing a child, but He does miracles and I've seen a few myself.

I'd also like to encourage you to talk to a Christian counselor. This helps a lot and doesn't cost you any money since most of them do not charge.

God bless you :)

Jesus is the truth, the way, and the LIFE
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