Discuss Helen Hunter Strecker's answer to: Can I help my son come to terms with the new baby?

I am pregnant with my second child. My son is 13. His father and I are divorced; it was a bad marriage and my son was rejected by his father. Since the divorce, his father fades in and out of his ...

Punish him for what?  He hasn't done anything wrong.  He's confused, and dazed.

He's been rejected by his father, you have a new husband and you are going to have a new baby. 

The boy is just dealing with a lot.  He needs some time from his mom, not the woman who is expecting; the mom he knows and loves.

I raised three boys and I remember when they hit 13, they became different.  He's starting puberty - and his mother is pregnant - he knows how it happened and you know what, he's a little bit embarassed to think that you had (whisper) sex. 

No he does not need to be shopping for the new baby.  You need to take him for a day out for him.  Put up with teenage stuff for a day and have some fun.  Get him some cool things that teenagers like.  Yeah, it's tough, but for a day forget that you're expecting and be HIS mom again.

And when the baby comes, don't go pushing the baby at him.  Let him observe, let him approach when he's ready.  Strange as it sounds, the first time the new little one looks at the older brother, the first time his eyes focus and he reacts to the new face; big brother will be hooked.  but you have to let it happen.  You can't force it.

Liked this answer? Tell your friends about it
Add Your Comment (or add your own answer)