Help!!!!

Hi,

You (both) are in a big trouble.  Your husband hopes that some magic will solve that problem.....  there are no magics here..... If he refuses to get a proffesional advise the only chance you have is finding a 3rd party to help you.  The best is someone he knows and trusts.  That person must be smart enough (and experienced) to do that job properly. 
Best regards,

Okay, I am DEFINITELY no expert on this and hopefully I won't be crucified for this comment...

  I am thinking that if he won't go to counseling maybe you should do some research yourself. I posted a communication question recently and was lead to lots of books and articles. Many of them seem kinda corny but there is one ebook that seems to be dead on if you are a "yeller" in a relationship with a "non-communicator". The ebook is by Christian Carter and is titled "Catch Him and Keep Him" so far he has a good grasp on getting men to do what you want them to, and want to do it. You can't force him to go to counseling but you can look for another approach to dealing with him. Even if he thinks you're "pretending" at first, he will notice that you are being sweet. Even if you are upset.

If he doesn't want to get help then he is telling you the marriage is not important.  If neither on of you want to get divorced then that means there is a way to work it out.  Marriage therapy is a good way to get a different view but if he is unwilling to do that you could also read some books that will help.  However, you both need to read the book.  I would suggest The Five Love Languages .

Well first of all what are you fighting about. From ones mouth you can either leash out the windows from Heaven or the gates of hell. One needs to stop count to three and analyze and examine in detail what you are fighting about, usually its over a silly thing. So relax and don't give in and ask yourself how would I like him to answer me if I were in his shoes. Try to look at all the good he does and try not to dwell on all the bad once you learn to master this, your perspective view will change. You also need to pray to the Almighty God, believe it or not He can solve your problems, just ask Him from your heart to help you and also ask Him to pour His wisdom upon you if you do this with Faith I tell you He will honor your petition. Ask and you shall receive, His word is for real, He doesn't lie. I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Rebuilding a relationship is hard.

It is even harder than building one. Building a relationship is in fact the easiest because it is when couples highly possess passion. It is in this early or “honeymoon” stage where almost all elements of an almost perfect relationship are present.

 Passion gradually fades as relationships go through time. Without or less of passion, sustaining and rebuilding any relationship really becomes effortful. Then the hard part starts.

 Nothing is really easy in pursuing extraordinary things especially relationships. Ironically, it is not as hard as we thought. It does not even require rocket science, only common sense and conscious effort.

 It certainly will require commitment. Commitment must however not be a single effort, but shared by two people sharing the relationship. One just cannot rebuild a relationship even if one is highly committed. A relationship is not a relationship if it is only built by one person.

 Commitment alone is not enough, but it takes commitment to do more than commitment. Couples should together commit to do the “basic” in building a relationship to rebuild their relationship. Yes! The common sense of rebuilding relationship is basic. Couples should consciously retrace how they built their relationship. They should re-track their moments during the honeymoon stage, especially the happy ones. They should remember the passion that once they highly shared when they started as lovers and better as friends. 

1, How did the couple spend time before?

2, How did the couple have fun?

3, How did they have good sex?

4, How did they talk?

5, How did they solve conflicts especially the critical ones?

6, Were there surprises?

7, What were the small joys and appreciative acts?

 Couples should not re-invest on all basic building blocks of their relationship, as some are not presently applicable anymore.  People and time change. Mountain climbing might not be doable anymore to seniors. Couples might not see each other daily anymore because they work apart every weekday. They might be incapable of having regular good sex anymore because of impotency. Conflicts might not concern couples anymore, but their children or grandchildren.

 Forms will certainly be different but the essence of the building blocks is same. This is where creativity is needed to improve and rebuild the relationship. The solutions are sure common sense but they need modifications to match with the changing environment.