Discuss maruawe's answer to: Can I help my daughter deal with her boys?

My daughter has two boys, ages 6 and 4, who are sweet but quarrelsome, especially the 4-year-old. He has a strong personality and throws terrible tantrums in public and at home when he does not get ...

A child that is that young and throws tantrums and gets away with it (esp. in public)shows that the parents are content with just trying to get along. Tough love is doing what is necessary to gain the respect of a child. If she will tell the child ONCE that if he does not stop,he will get a spanking and count 1 to 3 ,if he does not stop spank his butt, I believe that with my four children I spanked them once apiece, Then when I started to count ,they quit what they were doing,because they knew that it did not matter to me where we were that when I said stop that I meant what I said and would do what I said that I would do.

I do  believe in the adage   "Spare the rod and spoil the child". I know also in this day and time that spanking a child is frowned upon. But as a parent if you do not teach respect there will be none.  I DO NOT believe in beating a child. There is a tremendous difference between beating and spanking . I would probably get in trouble if I came upon a person beating or slapping a child . Fact is that I was almost arrested once for slapping a man that slapped a child in front of me in a restaurant

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genie who cares Thinks this answer is Helpful:

I agree with Maruawe, because God knows more about what works, in our human life, than any of us do!  The verse from the Bible, that says, "Spare the rod, and spoil the child" is sooo true, and spanking does work.  My Mother did it, and we had the most peaceful home ever, because we knew that she MEANT business in whatever she told us to do!

She never yelled at any of us 5 kids, but if she told us ONCE, not to do something, she would NOT give us a second chance.  She would get up and give the guilty a spanking immediately, and it would stop!  This way, she did not have to get mad, and we all paid attention, and learned from each other's mistakes. After she spanked one of us, she would sit down face to face with the one who got punished, and tell him/her, "Darling, I do NOT like to spank you, it hurts me more than it hurts you, but we all have to learn how to be civilized and have self-control so that we can grow up!  You have to mind me, because God gave you to me, and I am your MOther, and I am in charge!  We are told by God that HE is watching us, and we have to learn to live right.  That is why I have to teach you like this."   She meant what she said, and we had few problems.  We had the most peaceful home anyone could want, and we felt safe and secure, because we knew that our Mother knew what she was doing!  

When Dr. Spock came out with his book, about raising children, and NOT spanking them, I read the entire book, and realized after reading it, that he knew NOTHING about raising kids.  I decided to do with our newly born daughter, just as my Mother had done with us.  She was about 2 when she got her first spanking and then she learned from her brother and sisters too.  She will tell you today, that she never remembers getting a spanking!!  She did not get many, but she did get some, and I believe that the earlier they get them, the better it is for them, because what you learn early, sticks with you forever!  She has always been a good daughter, as well as our other children, and we also had a peaceful family.  Because my Mother used her good senses, and let us know that we only would get told ONCE, she did not have to get emotional, and outraged or start yelling.  It was best for us all the way she did it.

I believe that children who do not get spankings with love, like my Mother did it, are the ones who are getting hurt!  Spankings like this, are a lot better in teaching children to have a good life, and that there are rules and regulations in life, and it is much better than having them go to prison later in life, for NOT being disciplined!!  God's wisdom works!!

 
GrammyBarb

I also agree with maruawe.  As parents and grandparents, we are given the greatest blessings in our children. By the time they are in their very early teens will show if we have been a success or a failure. I would much rather have given a few swats on the behind and get the situation cleared up early than end up visiting my child in juvvie or worse in prison. Spare the rod and spoil the child doesn't mean beating a child. It means chastising a child and explaining WHY he is being chastised. IF done properly and as soon as the child knows to obey, the child should grow up to be a well rounded member of society who can  and will pass these instructions on to his own child in time.


 
Bonnie

I agree as well. Too many people prefer to be their child's friend instead of a parent. All children need parents. They also need boundaries and guidance. Communicating with children as to what they did wrong and what the result is teaches them all actions have consequences. Part of life.

 
Valeska

Spanking a child in public can cause you to be reported to the police and child protective.  It happened to me. 

 
Patti

that why you stop the problems at home and iof they act out LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!

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