Please help with my six year old stealing an lieing an saying she hates me

Hi Stacey,    I can understand you'd like to fix this problem and not let it continue.  Perhaps, if you make everything available to her, she would have no reason to sneak around to get it.  Don't forbid her from getting foods etc, and don't make her wait for you to give her foods.  If we make the rules of the house too strict, some children will feel the only way they can do what they want to do is to steal or sneak around.  Give your children more freedom when food is involved and see if that helps.  Is it only food that she steals?  

If her father used to withhold food as a punishment then she might not be ready to "ask" you for what she wants. Maybe she's afraid you'll say no or yell at her or maybe it's part of a power struggle and she needs to feel in control.

Try this: Get a large plastic box with an easy-open lid and make room for it in the refrigerator. Then have her help you prepare a selection of the foods she most typically steals. Place that and a selection of a variety of any other foods you think she might like in the box and tell her she can help herself to anything in the box anytime she wants it, without having to ask you for it.

If she keeps stealing food after a week or so of that, then at least you'll know it might be more of a behavioral or temperament issue brought on by her father's actions and she might benefit from a few sessions with a child psychologist. Good luck.

Hi Stacey,  Gee, I am so sorry to hear about her father's influence on her.  She is only 6 now, so that poor little girl was being programmed to steal food by his actions.  Thank God he doesn't have access to her now or her little 3 year old brother.

P.Makin has given you an excellent idea.  I think you need to do something that will allow her to program herself into thinking that food is now and will always be readily available to her.  I could cry when I think of how she must have suffered from her father's treatment.  It will take patience and hard work on your part, but the love you feel for her will help you to do whatever needs to be done.  At some point, if you have not seen any  improvement, try to have a professional counselor involved.  Please hug your children for me and give yourself a big hug as well.  AOLanswers is here for you, if you need to talk to us more about the problem.  Just having someone to share our problems with is often a big help.  God Bless.

Plain and simple, Stacy, you need to tell her she's gonna be spanked if she doesn't knock it off. A spanking doesn't damage a kid for life if you do it right. In other words, on her butt, and make sure you're in control of yourself. If you're angry when she needs a spanking,  send her to wherever she's gonna be spanked and make her wait till you're calm. Spankings work better than times outs.