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Posted by Anne 11 months ago In:

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Anne
Anne Asked:

How do you help Someone you love who is abusing ...

How do you help Someone you love who is abusing alcohol. My father is 76 years old and was a social drinker. Since my brothers (my fathers only son)sudden death almost 2 years ago, my father's drinking starts around 5pm until he can't hardly stand and sometimes not that bad it just depends on the day. We have found out that he has been leaving his girlfriends house & refusing stating that he's okay to drive & she isn't pressing the point that he isn't going to drive! He as already ran into the back of a car while drunk but the person didn't want the police called since he didn't have insurance or something. Another incident was he was on the interstate & he lane was ending the car in the next lane wouldn't speed up or slow down, so my father gunned it and plowed through the barricades to get in front of the vehichle in which damaged his right side of his car & side mirror was smashed in & the mirror broken.  He doesn't remember things especially if he has fallen when a neighbor has helped him in the house, etc.  He has be pulled over not one but twice by the police one for going 60 in a 35 speed zone and the other one was for running a red light. Each time the police office gave my father a ticket for the offence but only asked him if he had someone who could come & pick him up to take him home. Isn't this sending the wrong message to my father? Shouldn't they treat him just like everyone else that they feel that has had a few too many?? This might have woke my father up a little bit and especially if he was given his first DUI!  I don't wish this on my father don't get me wrong, I am just worried about him and I've lost many nights of sleep worrying about him drinking & driving. My sister's and I are worried that he is going to kill some one or himself while driving drunk.What are our options/or what can we do? We all live in a different state than he does, but we are planning on making a visit & talking to him and telling him how we feel, how much we love him, etc.

 

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P. McMakin
P. McMakin Answered:

Your father won't stop drinking until he's ready to stop. However, you can and should do everything in your power to make sure he's not driving drunk.

Do you know his physician's name and contact information? Who insures his auto? Consider contacting both his doctor and his insurance company to advise each of his problem behavior. You can also call his local police department and let them know that your father is likely to drive drunk. If you can get his girlfriend to call you when he leaves her home after he's been drinking, the police may be able to catch him in the act and drop the hammer on him. If not, they can at least keep an eye out for him and hopefully be able to catch him before your worst fears come true.

Good luck.

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gardensparrow
gardensparrow Answered:

Sounds like you're pretty worried about your dad-and understandably. It's definitely hard to know what to do in these type of situations. But, it sounds like the previous poster gave you some good advice. You could also consider doing an intervention with your father. I'm not sure if that's something you've thought about, but there's some good information on how to go about it in an article at http://bit.ly/LghXpP. Also, you'll probaby notice this mentioned in the link above, but I work at Focus on the Family and I know they have counselors that would be happy to talk to you about your dad (1-855-771-HELP). The call is free of charge, so just FYI. Well, I'll be praying for you family...

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