Help! I haven't had a good laugh for at least an hour!

You know how people grab their chin and head  and twist to work out the kinks in their neck?You put a piece of raw elbow macaroni between your teeth. As you twist your neck you chomp down on that macaroni and make a horrendous sound.  People will think you broke every bone in your neck.

Try substituting Sharp's de-alcoholized beer for the real thing in the picnic cooler.  Use TSP and warm water to remove the labels and press on new caps with a bottle capper.  The kicker is you tell everyone it is your special home brew that will stun a moose.

Then, when the picnic is over and everyone is acting drunk, tell them that you kept them sober enough not to buy a DWI on the way home. 

One smell of clean breath will confirm that you pulled the best April Fool joke in history -- by keeping your friends from getting in serious trouble, hurt, or killed in traffic.

Pax Aeternum

I like to submit faux medical reports on non-existent patients, diagnosing the Gleep for example.  Gleepitis is a contagious disorder where one person says "Gleep" and another says it shortly thereafter, to the severe annoyance of all who canot abide the sound of people saying "Gleep."