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My grandmother (adoptive mother) psychologically ...

My grandmother (adoptive mother) psychologically terrorized and emotionally abused me as a child, financially controlled me as an adult, and is now harrassing/stalking me as I near 32 years of age. How can I get away from a woman who calls me up to 150 times a day, and 20 times a day on average? If I don't answer the phone, she drives half and hour to my home and blocks my car in my driveway and bangs on my door for 20 minutes at a time. Then she will drive away only to do the same thing again about 15 minutes later.

She has told all of the family some sort of lie about me.  I haven't seen them for at least 16 years.  I don't get calls or presents on my birthday or during the holidays.  I asked the one family member who will talk to me, but she declined a visit from me citing an unwillingness to upset family members.  I've been threatened with legal action by the family members if any call that I make is followed by medical problems by my diabetic great-aunt in her mid-80's who suffers from congestive heart failure.

My biological father has told me that my mother (daughter of the woman I am complaining about) died as a result of financial abuse.  I was subjected to the exact same scenario a decade after his disclosure and believe his story 100%

I have no idea what to do to free myself of this woman.

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Send her a letter (by an atorney) saying that you don't want any contacts / relations with her and demand that she won't phone you and not come to your place.  If she does it you'll call the police.  Why do you need her in your life ?   Other members of your family:  If they want normal relations, welcome, else, close the doors behind you and delete them from your mind.  You sure deserve better than the poor treatment they give you.


Love is the battery of life....

Pack your things and move to another state. Change your phone number and end relationships with family. You have the right to privacy and to feel free to do as you please.


In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible. ~Cicero

Hi m. My heart goes out to you. You've been through so much in your relationship with your grandmother and extended family, and I can only imagine how hard it's been through the years. While you may not want to cut off ties altogether because of your little one, it definitely sounds like you need to find a way to implement some good boundaries with your grandmother. Your situation's complicated, and I think that it would be good for you to talk to a counselor about all the dynamics involved since there are so many layers to it. If you don't know of one, I'd suggest calling one of the counselors at Focus, where I work. It's free, and they've sure been a big help to me with family situations. The number is 855-771-4357. I'd also recommend the books The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and Boundaries. Hugs to you! Praying for wisdom...

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