how men need to be happy?
The four things a I thinks men need to be happy are:
To be fed - of course men need food for the soul! Why wouldn't they? I'm so saddened by the poor emotionally starved man who is spiritually unable to connect to his inner child allowing him to courageously and openly express his thoughts and desires with the freedom of a soaring eagle. I can fix that. A good solid meal made up of Oprah's enlightened philosophies and a compilation tape with Dr. Phil's extraordinary insightful meditative one-liners is just what he needs to fill the void. I'll hold his hand while he watches my complete Oprah, the Early Years collector's series DVD's, so when he is overcome with tears, I'm there for him ready and waiting with dessert: Kleenex, the latest Cosmo questionnaire and pen in hand.
To be loved - I can fix that. It's universally known that a man can't feel truly loved unless he is emotionally full so please see feeding instructions above. If the above doesn't work, an endive salad with lemon juice (on the side, please) and a diary in a quiet corner of the room where he can write his most private and self-nurturing thoughts will certainly open his soul to accept my love. I will complete him.
To think they're in control every once in a while even when they aren't - Call me crazy and selfish, but why would I want to fix that? I'm just saying ...
To have some form of adventure - I can fix that. I'll buy tickets to that new Italian opera next Sunday afternoon. And, after that, we'll stroll over to the art museum and see the Georgia O'Keefe exhibit. I bet he'll really love it if I treat him to the headset so he can listen to her life story while he studies each of her works. Or, wait; I have that scrapbooking conference next weekend, now there's an adventure he'll never forget!