Why do I feel so bored and dissatisfied? I am 32 years old and sometimes feel like I am stagnant in all areas of my life. I am a supply teacher so am not classified as being in fixed employment and it might be a few years before I can become permanent according to waiting time in my country. I have not had a steady relationship in over six years when I came out of a bad one. I cannot buy a place because of my job status and I just feel like I am being left behind my friends with children, mortgages, relationships and fixed jobs. I live in a very small and conservative place and have attended therapy for over a year to deal with the issues which made me keep moving places and I have made very postivie life changes. Am I still on the right track? if so why am i so cranky and miserable lately?
I think that we have all experienced such feelings. I always find that if you think positively and force yourself to make some changes, then good things will happen for you. It is easy to get yourself into a rut, especially with a job that you are not happy with. So try to make some changes and perhaps even consider relocating. Set some goals for yourself and be sure to do everything you can to achieve them. The most important thing is to stay positive. You make all the decisions in your own life and can choose to do whatever you can (even selfishly) to make yourself happy. Good luck.
you answered your own question within this question. the reason for your dissatisfaction with your existence is fear. You seem afraid to live and love and be in a rewarding relationship because of past setbacks(keep in mind i said setbacks NOT failures). As you also mentioned, you have made positive changes and I must commend you for doing so because i know that it is not easy. I think that you need to reassess what you want out of life and really make sure that is what you want! Compose a written strategic game plan and start going after what you desire with pure unaldulterated fervor. You also seem to compare your life to your friends lives and this is why you feel so unsatisfied. You are not your friends. They are not the sum of your worth and value. they have distinct individual lives that have nothing to do with you. By placing a yardstick against yourself based on your friends accomplishments and overall acheivements you are in effect negating your own successes. It seems that you have come along way so never compare your success to that of others. be the best you can be for you! And start dating; taking every moment slowly, savoring the true essence of life!
It sounds like you have a mid life crisis at a very early age. You have been going to therapy and it has helped some, but not enough, so you need to change therapists, or add to the one you have.
You're still on the right track as long as you don't give up, but you need someone that can analyze your problem personally to find out why you are cranky and miserable. It could be of biological origin, so consulting with a doctor may help.
"Why do I feel so bored and dissatisfied? I am 32 years old and sometimes feel like I am stagnant in all areas of my life. I am a supply teacher so am not classified as being in fixed employment and it might be a few years before I can become permanent according to waiting time in my country."
Because you are not living your dreams and you are not going towards them(towards the real ones). Take a sheet of paper and write down what you want to accomplish in the next year.(like if you would have no limitations whatsoever) Make sure that for the next year you move at least 95 of the time in the direction of your dreams.
"have attended therapy for over a year to deal with the issues which made me keep moving places and I have made very postivie life changes.
"Am I still on the right track?"
Don't ask as if you are on "the right track". You should get real with your life and make things happen. You have to decide what's the right track and put yourself on it.
For a quick fix exercise to get past these feelings(at least over one of them and in less than 10 minutes) test the following exercise:
you mean I am in the wrong job? I totally agree with you about living the dream but one of my dreams is to have a family and this seems to be the easiest way to pave the way for settling down. Does that make sense?
Yes, it makes perfect sense.
Having a famiy is the dream, arriving there can be achieved in many ways. The most things in life that work are counter intuitive. They don't seem to make any sense when you are facing them. We humans..have in our brain mechanism that stop us from achieving success in life.
In any situation there is a counter intuitive thing that will work 10x better than the way that the most people will choose.
I'll give you some examples..you don't have to agree with them..just test them and see if they work or if they are true.
It's intuitive to think short term and profit a little right now and it's counter intuitive to have plans and to think long term and strategic not tactical like most people.
It's intuitive to do anything well in a company and to make sure that anything has its place and it's counter intuitive to do only one thing in an excellent fashion and to outsource the rest and just have it done.
It's intuitive to behave nice with a women all the time in the beginning of the relationship and to do whatever she wants and it's counter intuitive to be indifferent, low pressure, an emotional roller coaster and a challenge for her.
It's intuitive to search for the best pick up line and it's counter intuitive to change your thinking and to not worry about the best line and to build your mindset on principles.
It's intuitive to behave like you are the important one and it's counter intuitive to let the other person to be the smart one.
It's intuitive to get emotionally caught up in a situation especially if other people around you are freaking out and it's counter intuitive to be calm and the more tensed the other people are the more calm and centered you become.
It's intuitive to work between 9 & 5 for long term security reasons and to it's counter intuitive to go on your own and build your own company and
make sources of passive income and stop working after a while.
It's intuitive to work 15 hours a day and it's counter intuitive to work 4 hours a day. In the same direction..it's intuitive to believe that you are more productive when you have more time at your disposal instead of less time.
At last, it's intuitive in the case of wanting to find a special girl to just go for only one of them and spend a lot of time and energy on her.....and it's counter intuitive to meet 100 girls to get to know each of them and to go in as many dates as you can as quickly and possible and worry about the marriage after you get a lot of experience.
Also check out my pm..I'll send yo a pm.
These are just a few.
My advice to you is to stop comparing yourself with the other people around you. You have different circumstances in life, that's why you cannot be like them. If that's all you can do, then just be contented with it. Another thing to remember is to live within your means.
Positive thinking might make your life better. Learn to think constructively.
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