Discuss OronD's answer to: Hey guys maybe you can answer this honestly ...

Hey guys maybe you can answer this honestly without feeling like you are violating the man code since none of you know me.... Is it possible for a guy(my boyfriend) to hang out with a girl he is ...

OronD
OronD Answered:

That will be my shortest answer on Yedda / AOL ever:  NO !!!

Love is the battery of life....
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Equus
Equus Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Thumb Up OronD you are absolutely correct .

Check out her other questions this guy is slim .

 
Heidarella
Heidarella Thinks this answer is Helpful:

What do you mean by slim?
 
Equus
Equus Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Hi Heidarella , He is disrespectful , deceitful , a liar and he is commiting infidelity .  He doesn't care about your feelings and continues to treat you very poorly . That equals slim .

All of this you and I talked about on your other questions .

You had told me a month ago you were having a talk with him telling him you would no longer put up with all this .  Did you talk to him ?

Please read my answer on this question really read it .

You and your Daughter both deserve so much more than this Man is ever going to give you .

 
 
Heidarella
Heidarella Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Yes I talked to him. He swore there is nothing going on. He has tried to make me more comfortable with the situation by trying to get her and I to be friends again because right now we are not even on talking terms. He also stopped going over there as much but now it just feels like he's doing it to appease me. It feels like to me anyway, that he has 2 girlfriends and he divides his time accordingly, granted he comes home to me every night but wtf is that....I don't know why but for some reason I'm still on the fence about what to do with him. I want to believe him I want there to be nothing going on. I want her to just be a friend but that to me seems almost impossible and I have this nauseas feeling everytime I even think about it........When I told him I couldn't and wouldn't deal with it anymore he acted like I was breaking his heart with asking him to leave that that wasn't what he wanted and he couldn't believe I was doing this to him over being friends with someone. I get so damn confused with all my emotions. My heart says one thing and my brain tell me another. I think that's my greatest and worst attribute, I always listen to my heart. So until it is completely broken-I will suffer....
 
Heidarella
Heidarella Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Although I don't know if he's really trying to make everything okay or just look like it for personal gain. You see apparentley she's offended because I think she would do that to me. But will not talk to me about it or talk to me about her relationship with my boyfriend, she according to him completely agrees with him and thinks I'm being jealous and crazy for not wanting him to hang out with her all the time-especially while I'm at work or at home in the evenings. It's not like he just goes for an hour or two either. He will leave at 8 p.m. and come home at 12:00 a.m 11:00 p.m. at the earliest after he's been over there all day or a couple of times that day. All this isn't suppose to cause doubt, questions, craziness-NO I'm just a jealous controlling girlfriend that want to tell him what he can and cannot do....
 
Heidarella
Heidarella Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Oh and for the record he didn't try to get me to have a 3some with her. We were talking about the idea of it and he was asking about people we knew her name got brought up and I shot it down because she is he neighbor and I dont' think I want to share the person I love with anyone else. The act would be fun but the emotions that will come afterwards and possibley during could be detrimental. I never want to do it....I told him that and he said we didn't have to but it was just fun to talk about....
 
Equus
Equus Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Hi , Bottom line is he is having an inappropriate relationship with her .  He SHOULD NOT bringing interference in to your relationship and he is .  He SHOULD NOT be telling her about your troubled relationship .  He should be trying to talk and work things out with you , not spending the night at her house . IT IS EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL  to you for him to be doing any of the above . The problem is NOT this other woman , the problem is your BF .  He should not be trying to work on the relationship between you and her . He should be working on the relationship between you and him .  He should be trying to be your friend not trying to get her as your friend . Again this is not about her , it is about him . He is not taking your feelings in to consideration at all , his actions show he doesn't care how you feel .  You are not jealous IT IS CALLED RESPECT .  I am sorry for being so blunt but this is all reality . If this man loved and respected you none of this would be going on .  You know it and I know it we all know it . Fact of the matter is he would rather spend time with her than you .What is he doing to try and repair the relationship? Actions speak louder than words .

Who is taking care of your daughter while you are at work and he is with this other woman ?  Why isn't he spending that time with your daughter ?  How and why did the different work schedules come about ?  How old is your daughter ?
 
Heidarella
Heidarella Thinks this answer is Helpful:

The bluntness is great and I appreciate it because I can't get it anywhere else. So thank you. To answer your questions my daughter is almost 7 and in the 1st grade so she's at school during the day and then goes to an afterschool program at her school. She attends a private school so there aren't any busses to transport her. I pick her up and drop her off as it is on my way to and from work. He is self employed, and I help him with his business on my lunch breaks and any free time I have. His business has been struggling for a couple of years now and it has gotten way worse the past few months with all the economy bs going on. I have been pretty much solely supporting us for a few months and I am very stressed out financially, emotionally, and mentally as you can imagine. I feel betrayed, disrepected, uneasy, lonely, and unloved. This sucks horribly.....
 
Equus
Equus Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Is there a charge for this after school program ?  Since this man claims to want to be a family and is basically unemployed ,why isn't he taking care of your Daughter after school ?  It would save you money if there is a charge for the program and for more bluntness from me it is what a man who supposely loves a woman and her daughter would do . Instead of hanging out at this other woman's house and talking about you and not in a good way .  He is commiting infidelity emotional at best .  And H will freeze over before I will ever believe any differently .

 

It's real simple why you feel as you do .  He has and still is betraying you , he is disrespecting you , he isnt treating you like he loves you , you are lonely yet he finds time for the woman next door , dangerous place for a man IF he loves his woman to find himself .

 

Seriously I personally do not think this man loves you and I would have kicked his unloyal disrespectful butt to the curb long ago .  BUT since you want and try and work this out , you need to set some boundaries and make it perfectly clear if he crosses them he is toast .  First off he ends his inappropriate relationship with this other woman .... he no longer discusses you , your relationship with her .  He no longer leaves you to hang out with her , he no longer hangs out with her while you are at work supporting his butt . He starts taking some responsibility for raising and helping out with your daughter . When she's not in school and you are working she is with him , period .  He starts taking responsibility for chores around the house , he is not working there's his new job .

 

What is his business ?  What is he doing to try and find another job till things pick up in his business .  I have to tell you a man in his position you'd think would have better things to do than hang out with the woman next door and complain about you .

 

SO what do you think .... You have been with this guy for four years .... do you really want to spend the rest of your life as you are now .   Or are you ready to put your foot up his backside and lay the law down and back it up if need be .
 
Heidarella
Heidarella Thinks this answer is Helpful:

Thanks to you and some good advice from my ladies at work, I kicked his butt to the curb last night. I don't want to spend another day like this much less the rest of my life. I spoke with him yesterday about what his relationship with her was doing to me/us. I explained all of what we discussed yesterday. He admitted I was right to be thinking what I was thinking but that I was wrong and would just have to trust him. He said he wants to want to be around me more but right now that's now possible for him with all my complaining about this and the other issues we have. He says he needs space to come back to me. I told him a big fat BS. He has a large job coming up and I was suppose to get the majority of the money. I told him last night I would take $4,000 and the remaining I wanted him to move out with........It's just not worth it.....
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