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Why my excitement during foreplay and sex decreases?

I am 31 years old. I was married at 21 and got divorced 2 years ago. One of our problems in our relationship was sex. I never liked having sex with him, never had any feelings and never experienced an orgasm. A couple of months ago I met a guy and we started a relationship. He has a different nationality and lives in another country so we meet each other about 1 week every 6 weeks. He flies to the country I'm residing currently, so when we meet, we have sex. With him sex feels different to me compared with my ex-hubby. But there still is a problem. The first day we meet, I have a lot of sexual feelings and drive, I enjoy kissing and cuddling, but even the first time we meet the feelings decreases gradually and when it goes to foreplay and sex, I enjoy it less and less so it doesn't lead to a satisfactory sex and an orgasm. Therefore the next time we kiss, I even enjoy less and during the few last days of his stay, I even don't enjoy kissing and cuddling. It makes me feel frustrated and hopeless. Then I start thinking of breaking up and not having relationship with anyone. I always try to make myself ready mentally a few days before he arrives. I thinking of the good memories with him and enjoy the fantasy of him being with me, So when he arrives I am really excited. However I don't really realize why I lose my interest so quickly. He doesn't do anything that I don't like. He is absolutely passionate and finds me very attractive. Please help me to understand what the problem is and how I can overcome it.

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try to consult a Sex Therapist....

Try staying away from men. Maybe women is what you want?

No that is not true for me.

I think you just need to experience an orgasm, some how...Maybe your ex husband wasn't the problem...Wonder if you guys didn't work out because he wanted to make love to you and you just didn't feel it which whch now you are having doubts about your own body...learn to have an orgasm, by yourself, don't ex out men, just get comfortable with your self again...   People seem to put alot of pressure on themselves when it comes to sex. In your mind during sex, maybe you are tryn to hard to have an orgasm that you blow it all together...relax an just enjoy your man being inside you, as long as it's love you feel with him...

Dear girl...

The most part of a sexual relationship is closely centered round a woman's clitoris. Nothing else will ever play a better role in sex. First you have to find out yourself the strength and weakness of your own body. It may involve your ability to walk over 5 km at a single stretch, your body shape, the most painful and pleasurable part of your body, the time of a day your body positively reacts with, your likes and dislikes, your hard work to find out the best for your sex, your masturbation, and finally stop blaming others and start blaming yourself and rectify them with a 'want to have' manner. I wish you all sex on bed.

When we speak of libido we refer specifically to sexual desire of the people, but when we talk about the lack of libido is why we refer to a sexual disorder that today affects millions of women around the world. This issue is directly related to the sexual coldness or simply lack of interest that the couples for satisfactory sexual intercourse.

Because of the lack of libido or sexual coldness and want to call it that today many couples end their relationships even years. There may be many factors that affect us and help the lack of libido, but it can also fight with all natural nutrients. We must also remember that this is mainly because of the inability of women to reach orgasm.

What are the main causes of low libido in women?

Related to menopause Symptoms and hormonal causes
Psychological causes and depressions
Ignorance of the female body by men


It sounds like you were molested as a child, or there was some kind of abuse in your life some where. You have some unresolved issues with your ex-husb. as well, which could lead to these problems in this relationship. But I would guess it is coming from your childhood somehow. You will need counseling to really get to the bottom of this.

"Those who deserves to be loved the least, needs it the most"

Sounds like the fantasy is more exciting than the reality.  Are you in the relationship for the right reasons?  

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