Depression

"and i feel i want to reveal everything hidden inside me."

 jojo- 

  This one statement holds the answer to what your heart and soul need to flourish.

  Each of us is a little piece or spark of the Divine.  If we cannot let that light shine, if we are kept from expressing who we really are by others, or by our own volition, we will become ill in some way.

   Right now, in this moment, you have the potential to be joyful and happy.  You have the potential to express what is unique within you to the world.  Anything that prevents this, is something that must be dealt with in some way.

   NJoy has given you one excellent tool, the journal to begin.  I would add that finding a therapist to help you "come out of your shell" would also be an excellent avenue.  Your mother and husband seem to only be worried about themselves and controlling you.  It is time to find others (friends, therapists, etc.) who really care about you and what you feel is best for you.

   I hope that you will tell us more if you would like to.  Please remember that the world, in one way or another, needs you.  If you stay bound within yourself, you and all of us miss out on your wonderful light.

   Many blessings,

   Elena 

NJoy,

  Thank  you for the invite. 

Hi JoJo, I can certainly sympathize with your situation.  You love both your Mum and your husband and when your Mum does not like your husband it makes it very difficult on you.  You don't know who to side with, since you love them both. 

 If your husband is not abusing you in any way, your allegience should be to him. 

If you can muster up the courage to tell your Mum how much it bothers you when they fight, and IF your MUM really loves you, she, being older than your husband, should not argue with him.  It is easier to say, than to do...believe me, I know.  But if your husband is a good man and if you love him and want to stay married, you will be better off telling your Mum not to argue with him. 

 If your husband is childish and deliberately picks fights with your Mum, then he needs help from a therapist to find out why he does that. 

 If your Mum continues to want to say and do things that irritate your husband, then she needs to stop coddling her daughter and find a more interesting hobby. 

I do not know enough of the facts.  All I know is you are tired of their bickering.  You are really the only one who can stop their fighting.  Tell them their behavior is making you sick, ill, depressed.  If they continue, then you have to realize that neither one really cares about your feelings. They care about themselves.  You then need to find yourself a good therapist to help you.  Good Luck.

Try to be closer with your husband. Try to make him your friend. Think what he wants from you that you are not delivering properly. May be proper time, good time in the bed, good kitchen work will help you. Figure out how to win his heart. Once he is happy with you share your thoughts with him about your mother. then he will help u and in this way you will he really relaxed even if your mum will still disturb u

You should tell them you had enough, I think. I'm 99% sure your depression did not happen by itself but as a result of your mom's and your husband's dictate. Be ready to go through a serious fight with them, but if you pull that one out - you will feel much better.