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I have a very deep-seeded grudge against my ...

I have a very deep-seeded grudge against my brother, which I don't think I will ever get over. When I was 24, I got diagnosed with end-stage liver failure. My life took a turn for the worst, and I was homeless. My brother NEVER once helped me out. He never let me some much as take a shower at his house, or give me a chance to get back on my feet. Eventually, I had to move to a different state and move in with my sister, who also had her own apartment. She, unlike my brother, let me stay, get myself together, and eventually, I got a very good job and was able to take care of myself for the time being. If I had stayed where I was, he would have let me die on the side of the road. Now that I am on my feet, my health is great, he wants to be my friend and thinks everything is ok. I have such an intense hatred for him, if he died, I can seriously say I would not care. He didnt care about me back then, and I hate him for it. I thought blood was supposed to be everything. Am I ever going to get over this?

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It sounds like there may be some history you're not sharing. What was the cause of your liver failure? You mention "getting yourself together," did substance abuse have anything to do with it?

I understand you're angry, but keep in mind that all your anger is doing is causing you to eat yourself up on the inside. Now that you've turned your life around do you really want to return to that?

Write your brother a letter telling him everything you want to say to him. Be as nasty and mean and hateful as you feel like being; let it all out and don't hold anything back. Put in in an envelope, seal it, address it ... and then burn it. Watch the smoke go up into the air and vanish and let your anger do the same. You may be surprised at how much better you feel afterwards.

You may not be able to "get over this" feeling you have.  The hurt goes too deep to even try, most likely.  For your own sake, it would free you, if you could forgive him, and then move on with your good life.  Any hatred that we cling to will continue eating at us in ways that we can't even recognize.  But, to forget about this thing that occurred in your life and the deep hurt you felt, is truly not possible.  But, you can come to a point where you can understand that he simply didn't have it in him to do the right thing for you at that time.  A little like we have to forgive our parents for failing to raise us right.  We still remember the bad things that happened, but we do not let those things define us today.  We have grown up and matured spiritually.  You have a right to never see your brother again, if that makes your life better, and you have a right to forgive him (because he did not know how much he hurt you) and still never see him again.  There is a great deal to think about in your situation, but I know from experience that you do not have to let the old hurts continue hurting.  And understanding and forgiveness are the way to peace.

Your brothers behavior is still causeing you grief. Sure it was a terrible circumstance however it worked out for you.

Anger can be the cause of many maladies and the only way to work yourself above and beyond the past is to forgive and try to forget! Be grateful your sister was there to help you through the whole dilemma.

In a disordered mind, as in a disordered body, soundness of health is impossible. ~Cicero

Please trust me on this, To hold hatred and anger like this. It doesn't hurt your brother, it hurts you. Forgiveness means that you free your heart to be happy. It sounds cliche,. I know, but I know this from experience. It took a long to to forgive my father for being an abusive drunk. But when I finally did forgive him, long after hje died, I finally started to learn how to be happy. Hatred and grudges are like chains that hold you down. Get rid of them and start to live beyond what happened in the past. Yes, your brother acted very badly, but you're only hurting yourself. If you can't forgive, believe me, a time will come when you will hurt not to be close with your brother.

If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, then that makes me a burning truck filled with TNT hurtling through a rocket fuel depot.

No Oone, my heart goes out to you. I understand it is so hard and hurtful to find your own brother not helping you when you need him the most. And it is absolutely normal to feel the way you do and to have bitterness because of it. And yes, as you've been already told, only forgiveness will set you free. But we are unable to do this on our own. Only God can heal our wounds and give us the power to forgive. So if you are willing, ask Him to start this journey with you. Yes, it is a journey... a long one unfortunately but you'll get there if you're willing.

I suggest you talk to your brother about it if you haven't done so. I'm not saying that you will definitely find an excuse for him, but it is possible though. Some people protect themselves by distancing themselves from the source of pain even if they are their own family. I'm not saying that this, or any other reason, is a good thing or that it should be the magical piece of information that will make you forgive your brother on the spot. But it'll help. And even if he didn't have any reason for not helping you other than being mean, it is still important to talk about it.

Jesus is the truth, the way, and the LIFE

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