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How to deal with Ex wife and Kids

My husbands ex wife is still in love with my husband and has done everything in her power to turn his daughters against me. She has finally achieved turning the 16 year old against me. We were very close for 10 years and about a year and half ago the oldest who is 17 now moved in with us and the ex blames me! She was the one who had the problem with her daughter and it had nothing to do with me. In fact the 17 year old was never close to me. Her mom had her convinced if it was not for me they would of been able to be back together. They were divorced for over two years before I came into the picture and she was the one who cheated. My husband has never told the girls this and the ex has told them he left her becasue she gained weight. She just told everyone at my step daughters graduation party where I and her now husband was that she still loves my husband her ex and hates her current husband of ten years. She has done so many unhanded things it would take forever to tell. I have always tried to stay out of her drama and above her crap but this year has been hard. She is turne dit up and really has been pusing my buttons for reaction and I have succumed. I let her get under my skin and it has actually caused problems with my husband and me. I want to ignore her but I have ignored her for ten years now and I am tired of being a doormat. I need to collect myself and not let her get to me but I'm tored of taking the high road. I told her to go ###k herself and to never speak to me again. So she has found away to get to me by turning the 16 year old against me and she knows it hurts. I do not know what to do but turn off my emotions and ignore the crap.

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Unfortunately, it appears you are in a lose-lose situation. You might think about family counseling with your husband and stepdaughters as a way of repairing your relationships with the girls as well as allowing your stepdaughters to see their mother's manipulating ways.

Children are God's gift to the world...

Hi,

   You need to ignore the ex-wife to keep your present marriage intact.  I know it's not easy to do.  As long as you and your husband are getting along, then just keep ignoring her.

Be honest and be true to yourself.

What do you do if the ex wife is remarried with two other children and still insisting in making our lives miserable. Everytime my step daughter goes home, the ex wife gets upset for one thing or another. Step daughter is 11 and afraid of the dark. She still asks for company when she goes to the bathroom. The other day, I picked her up after school and she wanted to go to her mothers to pick up clothing, chargers, and misc. (her mother gets upset if the cellphone loses a charge) As she was going into her house she walked backed and asked if I can come in with her. There was no one home and she was scared to be alone.

I helped her pack and left within minutes. Maybe I was wrong to enter the home, but the my step-daughter was scared. What would have been the right decision? We were pressed for time and had an hour to get a birthday cake, a gift, and meet daddy for dinner.

Should I ignore the ex wife and her constant need to stir the pot? Please help.

iam in the same situation iam not married to my partner yet we are planning on it and for the past few years i just keep coping shit from his ex partner,they have a child together which was conceived only after 1 month of knowing each other my partner stayed by her than she cheated on him i came on the seen about 1 year after there split,im alot younger than her and she always uses me as the problem and makes out that shes such a good mum when i see the complete opisite she leaves the kid with who ever she has men coming in and out she lies to the child and everyone eles,she has a gutter mouth in front of the child who is 8,its just really hard,i dont understand why she has to be like this i hate the fact she thinks shes a great mother when shes not and makes out that my partner and i are the bad parents.all of this makes me extremly stresssed and gives me anxioty i dont know how to not think about it and try and relax

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